I decided to record a special episode due to a recent situation in my own life. I was on a flight from Los Angeles to Boston where a man threatened to take over the flight. I described the event that occurred, my thoughts on the subject, and trying to normalize that therapists also can be affected by situations, which brings back the past and other difficult emotions to process.
This episode was really personal to me and I hope my audience enjoys it.
I've included some of the news reports below:
Original
Follow-Up
Second Follow-Up
After Attacking Correctional Officers After His Arrest
I decided to record a special episode due to a recent situation in my own life. I was on a flight from Los Angeles to Boston where a man threatened to take over the flight. I described the event that occurred, my thoughts on the subject, and trying to normalize that therapists also can be affected by situations, which brings back the past and other difficult emotions to process.
This episode was really personal to me and I hope my audience enjoys it.
I've included some of the news reports below:
Original
Follow-Up
Second Follow-Up
After Attacking Correctional Officers After His Arrest
Hi, and welcome to finding your way through therapy. I'm your host, Steve Bisson. The goal of this podcast is to demystify therapy, what can happen in therapy, and the wide array of conversations you can have in therapy. I also talked to guests about therapy, their experience with therapy, and how psychology is present in many places in their lives. They also share personal stories. So please join me on this journey about therapy. Well, Hi, and welcome to a special episode of finding your way through therapy. I am CB sound, this was not planned. I hesitated actually, to record this spoke to my therapist told me that I had to wait a few days before kind of making my decision. So I don't regret it. And ultimately, it came to the conclusion that I want to do it and when take that sucks, it sucks. If it doesn't, it doesn't, I don't really care. But I also want to be able to tell my story, be able to be vulnerable, and just humanize therapists, because we're people. And we go through stuff, too. So the reason why I'm doing this, it's about a week removed from the event. For those of you who didn't hear, there was a flight from LA to Boston that had an incident on March 5 2023. And I was on there with my girlfriend, and my two kids. When I got on the flight, I had actually noticed him just because he had very thick sunglasses on. And part of me was like, I didn't feel comfortable. And I know people are gonna say that's hindsight. But ultimately, I really did see that. And I sat down, my two kids are sitting in the seat in front of me with a woman next to them. I'm sitting with my girlfriend behind them. And there's a woman next to my girlfriend, I have the outside seat. So like goes off without a hitch. We ended up being in flight for I don't know, I can't remember how much time we were up there. But I had about 45 minutes left. Before the flight I decided I'm gonna go to the bathroom. The woman next to my girlfriend got woke up. And I said, Okay, I'll just go to the bathroom before we land. So I got up to go to the bathroom. He happened to be the gentleman right before me. I know that people might, I'm going to kind of like go with the narrative first before going into too much emotions. So go to the bathroom, he was sticking around right after he got out and like wondering why. So I go into the bathroom. I step out of the bathroom. I see the flight attendant, there's a door right in front of the bathroom. And she's like someone played with the door. And she noticed that. So I go sit down, I'm not it's not my my gig, right and not going to get involved. And my kids decide they need to go above and before we land just like I did. So they go in the back bathroom. While they're in the bathroom, the flight attendant, one of the great flight attendants we had, goes and asks him if he played with the door, and just about the same tone and kind of like, not exactly sure about the tone, but it was an accusatory tone, just something like matter of fact done by the flight attendant. Well, that got him upset. He started getting angry. And he started stating different things. One of them being that he's bald his arm and started saying that women and kids are safe, but not the men. And the reason why is that the men, I can't remember how they abused women. And I don't know how to use kids, but use your imagination. He was saying that about us men. So my kids get back from the bathroom at that point. And I say go sit down. And I'm not sitting with them. So they're right in front of me. So my girlfriend very helpful, is taking care of one of them, I take care of the other. But because he was focusing on the men, I had to make a decision, I had to make a decision between standing up to go sit next to my kids or staying behind him and not get the focus of his attention because he's really focusing on men at this point. So I decided to just try to help my daughters rub their their shoulders and say yeah, okay, don't worry, you're safe and try to remind them of that. So at one point, he stands up, he gets louder. And he starts talking about Homeland Security. I think people said air marshals and pretty sure he had said Homeland Security, say, Who's Homeland Security and he started, this is happening with three rows behind three to four rows. He's in front of us. So we hear him we hear him pretty loudly. We are in his vision if we decide to stand up, basically. And he's starting to look at other men saying that, are you home man? Are you going to shoot me? And if you do shoot me, the bullets will go right through me because I'm Baltazar and they won't kill me. And that just made you know, I'll be safer. We can't remember the exact words. So he states that at one point and he gets more and more upset. He gets up and he does He was up at that time to, I should say, just got up. But at one point, he starts stating that there will be a bloodbath, and then mentions a weapon of some sorts. So then he at one point, because he got up, I didn't see all that because I'm hiding behind, my daughter's trying to rub their arms. And I'll share that feeling afterwards. And then he says he's going to take over the plane, thank you for the four to six men who really charged at him, pushed him down and held them down. The flight attendants helped in he started looking for zip ties and the cuffs, the mother zip tie cuffs, I should say, He's held down. But at the cuffs break, then around the start throwing the message around the plane that does anybody have their belt, or ties or anything that they can use as a restraint. You know, who goes on a plane anymore with belts because you know, everything, we gotta go through TSA, right, so hard to find. So I'm all that after you got tackled, I asked a woman who is sitting next to my kids, they get up, and I start reassuring my kids, I talk to them and process them, you're safe, you're fine. Talk about all those things. And just want to make sure they're okay. They have a lot of questions already about weapons, they have questions about what happened. Why is he that way? So try to answer as much as I can. But the girls, once they decide they hear that he did not have a weapon. And I joke around that he didn't have a weapon because and this is not a joke. at LAX, we couldn't even wear our hoodies through the security, they had to put that down. So I'm like, if we can't wear a hoodie, I'm pretty sure he's not bringing a weapon. So we're able to do that my girlfriend had a prescribed medication, a benzodiazepine that I can't remember what it was. But she decides that she's going to try to help. She grinds it. He said he was thirsty, the gentleman in question while he's being restrained. So she puts it in his mouth. So hopefully by the it gets absorbed, and it calms him down. He's held down. We're still like, we're still in the air during all this time. And originally 45 minutes, and we're over, I want to guess New York, New Jersey around there. But they took the plane all the way back to Logan's. So people get tired and all that. So after I reassured my kids, I asked my kids if they need help, do you want me to go help them and to restrain them? And they said, sure. But I didn't have to do that, thankfully, because they had asked once or twice, but I didn't have to do anything. So ever. My girlfriend, the dad, she goes and sits down and we Aladdin and Logan pretty violently because the plane is coming at a really rapid rate we want to land ASAP, obviously makes sense. Right? So once we land, he's taken off the plane. And like, I don't think he was like, as soon as the troopers got in a Massachusetts State Police shout out to them to by the way, they take them out right away. And they said, Well, can you sit down? We're just going to run people? No, we're going to talk to people get some statements. Some people had videos. So the state troopers needed that. And they asked for more info. And the only thing I really offered is that if someone was saying something that was not accurate, I kind of like did correct them. So once the troopers are, as we say, Massachusetts, a troop as have, you know, leave the plane, we're told to leave, leave, and we all leave, you know, people are supporting each other people are very nice to each other. And the flight attendant says something to the effect of thank you for flying united, which seems you know, I'll get back to that too. So a few things that I want to mention, because this is what happened. I want to give you the facts as much as I can without putting my little messages in that right. So here's my thoughts in regards to that. So the flight attendants were calm. They were amazing. They did a fantastic job considering I will be honest, and I didn't see him with a weapon. I did not see it. When I was in the bathroom. I didn't see him going towards anyone with the weapons because again, I'm cowering behind the seat so that he doesn't see me because he is targeting. But the flight attendants tried to calm the situation down, they did everything they can they were helping as much as they can. And they did a fantastic job because I'm sure that there probably is some training in regards to emergency situations. I'm pretty sure they never had to go through that exact situation. So bravo. And kudos to all of them for handling it. Well, happy. The flight attendant did not get stabbed, that I know of, and things went out okay, that way for the four to six men who ran and held them down. Thank you. I was shocked. I tried to shake hands with everyone when they went back to sit down. But I will never be able to thank them enough for what they did. people next to me, some of them are upset. Some people were struggling and you know, I've worked crisis work for about 15 years. So I went into a mode where I again because I want to be very mindful that I cannot diagnose someone I don't know. I was thinking there might be a mental health issue there. And if you Want to laugh at the way I said it? That's fine, too. So, you know, I started somewhere when one of the women in particular was afraid of flying. And obviously, this didn't help. So I tried to talk to her, I talked to other people who were, like having a rough time trying to just calm everyone down, including after I took care of my daughters, which were my priority, right? So, but that was really good. And people stayed really calm. And I'm very happy for that. The few things that I want to mention that I got an A, it may be hard for me to get to this point. But I figured vulnerability and being truthful in regards to what we went through, goes a long way. So the first question I have is, why didn't we land before Logan? Because we knew we would get tired. The zip ties had broken and we're, like I said, we went over New York. By now there's a couple airports there. We were near Hartford, there's an airport there. There's a there's an airport in Worcester, there's an airport, smaller airports on the way. And why did they insist on doing the 45 minutes to Boston? I'll never quite understand that. That's not for me to respond. But this is something that I really wanted to share, because it got me frustrated. We only had one pair of zip tie cuffs on the whole plane. Why am I frustrated by that? Well, if we were to people who were acting out or trying to take over a plane or what have you, we were proverbially fought. And yes, I swore. But it was just a frustration I had that we only had one pair. It was so scary in regards to that just because they the cuffs broke. So they had to do other things. I saw also like, again, there are no, there's no like order here. I'm just telling you my thoughts here. And I did write them down. But the thing that came to like when we finish this Oh, thank you for everyone who helped, particularly those who and then thank you for flying united. I thought that was the most insulting thing I heard. And the reason why is that we went through a lot. And I didn't like I think people who acted bravely like they did as they went through even more to me, I frankly, don't think of me as going through a whole lot. But thank you for flying United seems like a and you know, I know that flight attendants are going through their own stuff, too. It's not that I'm insensitive to that. But at the same time, like, I could have been a little better, right could have been like, Oh my God, I hope you're gonna get an email from us. Or if you need crisis resources, or whatever, no, nothing of that. Thank you for flying united. And we get off the plane and we get on our merry way, suffer those other videos and wanted to give statements. So it didn't quite understand that. And I'm still a little frustrated in regards to that. Right. And there was no follow up, I wrote to them in regards to that. On Monday, my girlfriend did something on Tuesday or Wednesday. And they didn't follow up anything. And so I have my resources. I have my therapist, I'm a therapist myself, my therapist helped me I was reaching out to people anyway. But ultimately, why don't they reach like reaching out to us? And yes, if you feel attacked United i It's not my goal. But I want to tell you that, you know, you failed us by doing so. And I wish that that happened, you know, the things I'm grateful for, besides that is just having a bunch of people who are just united, you know, it was very helpful to see that my brain went into crisis mode. As I said, the one thing that my therapist made me understand is that what also was painful for me is that I've had other traumas, not on a plane like this, but other traumas in my life. And, you know, a lot of it play bring shame, right. And this one brought me shame, because if I took care of my kids, then I felt shame that I didn't help the men who bravely held them down. And if I did help them out, I would have been ashamed that I didn't wasn't there for my kids, you know, knock on wood, my kids still like say, you know, it's a bad incident. They were even annoyed with me on Friday, when I was asking how they were doing. And they're not affected. And I'm very proud of that. I'm hoping that I contributed to that. But my shame was going to come either way, and I couldn't win. And that's a lot of the shit I still struggle with right now. The sadness of the whole thing, because, for me, it's just a sad statement of what happened. And not only for the mental health part, because that's part of what he had as an issue, in my opinion, just an opinion. There's no proof of what I'm saying that here. But intense sadness for that poor woman who probably will never fly again. And we didn't send any support for her. Even for me, who has all the resources pretty rough for me too. And I'm sure there's other people who found that rough didn't find a rough that's great. And yes, I think that what the men did was brave even though they said they just did with what was right they did absolutely what was right but doing what was right is tough and They give them a lot of credit for that. But flight attendants keeping the situation as calm as they possibly could give them a lot of credit still don't understand why we had to go 40 minutes in flight with this situation instead of landing somewhere else. The other thing that's going to be very vulnerable for me to say is that I was calm. I was fine on Sunday, even making jokes on the way back in the car and dark humor really, really helped my my kids participated, my girlfriend participated. And I was fine Monday when I wrote that email to United. But by Tuesday morning, I was dry heaving. And to put that in perspective, I truly haven't had any problems with my digestive system in that way for many years. I can't even count them the years 15 years or so. And I dry heaved a lot on Tuesday. I've drive heat on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, today's Sunday, it's a week removed. I have Dr. heaved every day, even today. And that's a reaction, right? I've cried. And I'm surprised I haven't cried yet. But I think I writing it down and sharing what you was kind of like a good way for me not to cry, I guess because I can keep my shit together sometimes. But I tell the story to a few people. I don't want to say the story just for the record, just the last time I'll say the story if you want to. If you're a friend of mine, if you're someone who knows me, I'm gonna refer you to the podcast. The reason why my therapist says retelling the story will help in he's right. Then Damn you, therapists. Thank you, Joe. But you know, I think that what happens is that it's tough. You just become a human, you know, I'm not immune to trauma. Because I'm a therapist. I'm not immune to the side effects of acute stress disorder, because I'm a therapist. And, you know, when I think about finding your way through therapy, I really wanted people to understand that we want to help us therapists, but we're therapists are human too. And I really, really wanted that to be shown. And I figured that this is the perfect place to talk about that. How am I going to be tomorrow next week, I don't know. But I know that just talking about it felt good to share that with everyone. And if you have any questions that are not about the event, but how I'm feeling or anything like that, more than happy to share that. I'm not sharing any of my personal views in regards to certain things. But I will tell you how I feel. And that's what I will concentrate on. So that's it, I didn't know how I was going to finish the episode that's going to be the end the episode here. We'll go back to our regularly scheduled program next week. But I appreciate you guys listening. It's so tough, sometimes to just be a human being because I want to be a professional. But even this week, having a few clients, one of the things I've always prided myself is that don't ask me any questions, you know what the answer to. And one of the questions I've done since long time, is if you ask me how I'm doing, I'm gonna tell you exactly how it goes. Whether you like it or not, I don't care. And I've said that to a few people with, I've been able to kind of like, give them the Cliff Notes and not be too emotional. But one of the things that I've said to myself a long time ago, is if you can be human as a therapist, you can let them be humans in life. And there was a particular client this week, I was sharing a little bit about this. And turns out that this client of mine started talking about their trauma that they had a couple of weeks ago, and they said you talking about just open myself that I can be vulnerable with you. So again, I don't know how to end this episode other than saying that my clients were they listened a little bit I didn't take over there sessions. I was very every time I did, I said oh my god, I can't think over your session. And they would always go no, no, you can tell me I'm like, no, no, this is your session. Because you know, part of it is I know, some therapists, friends of mine will say, Well, you share too much with our clients. This is not something we should be doing and taking over the session. I didn't get the impression from any of my clients that they felt that way. And I'm pretty sure they didn't. But ultimately, I'll be myself on this podcast, I can guarantee you that I'll be authentic, I'll be myself. My reactions are authentic right now. I'm feeling okay. I do feel the tears in my eyes. And we put the video in on YouTube, if you wish. But I know that I'll get better. But I won't get better by holding the story down and not talking about it. I won't talk about the story but how I feel and I was I've been able to between talking to a great great friend of mine on Tuesday, being able to talk to a few more people Wednesday and Thursday going out with a friend again on Friday. Yesterday, I was able to talk to another friend we did something we had something planned and was able to open up with him. And then today went with my girlfriend's friends. And we know kind of like, share that story too. One of the things I would say to make sure that things don't become a post traumatic stress disorder, acute stress disorder is to talk about it. And not necessarily the event, but your feelings and how you felt around this. Do you do that with just about everyone? No, do it with people you trust. But ultimately, it's really been helpful for me to be able to open up about it. So, alright, now it's the end. Regular scheduling program coming back next week. I really thank you for listening, and I'll see you next week. Please like, subscribe or follow this podcast on your favorite platform. A glowing review is always helpful. And as a reminder, this podcast is for information, educational, and entertainment purposes. If you're struggling with a mental health or substance abuse issue, please reach out to a professional counselor or therapist for consultation.