Have you ever wondered how a dare could transform a person's life? Join us as we sit down with the uproarious Brad Mastrangelo, who shares his unexpected journey into stand-up comedy and how his experiences as a performer, cop cleaner and family man shape his unique brand of humor. We chat and chuckle, reflecting on the joy that humor brings to our lives.
Our conversation takes a thoughtful turn as we explore the therapeutic power of comedy. We delve into how embracing emotional diversity can disrupt the damaging patterns that impair mental health. We share a hearty laugh and insist on the need to lighten up, even during challenging times. We underline the immense value of human connection, emphasizing the journey of self-reflection and personal stories of therapeutic transformation.
Mental health is no laughing matter, but that doesn't mean we can't approach it with a sense of humor. We confront the stigma surrounding mental health and therapy, encouraging our listeners to prioritize their wellbeing. As we wrap up, we shift the spotlight back to the vibrant Boston comedy scene and the compelling pull of the stage. We urge you to support local comedy shows and never miss an opportunity to laugh. After all, laughter is the best therapy.
Have you ever wondered how a dare could transform a person's life? Join us as we sit down with the uproarious Brad Mastrangelo, who shares his unexpected journey into stand-up comedy and how his experiences as a performer, cop cleaner and family man shape his unique brand of humor. We chat and chuckle, reflecting on the joy that humor brings to our lives.
Our conversation takes a thoughtful turn as we explore the therapeutic power of comedy. We delve into how embracing emotional diversity can disrupt the damaging patterns that impair mental health. We share a hearty laugh and insist on the need to lighten up, even during challenging times. We underline the immense value of human connection, emphasizing the journey of self-reflection and personal stories of therapeutic transformation.
Mental health is no laughing matter, but that doesn't mean we can't approach it with a sense of humor. We confront the stigma surrounding mental health and therapy, encouraging our listeners to prioritize their wellbeing. As we wrap up, we shift the spotlight back to the vibrant Boston comedy scene and the compelling pull of the stage. We urge you to support local comedy shows and never miss an opportunity to laugh. After all, laughter is the best therapy.
Hi and welcome to Finding your Way Through Therapy. The goal of this podcast is to demystify therapy, what can happen in therapy and the wide array of conversations you can have in and about therapy Through personal experiences. Guests will talk about therapy, their experiences with it and how psychology and therapy are present in many places in their lives, with lots of authenticity and a touch of humor. Here is your host, steve Bisson.
Speaker 2:So, spire, this is great. Thank you and welcome to Episode 129. If you haven't listened to Episode 128, it was the most downloaded with Jenny Helms. She was great. I hope you go back and listen to it. Well, my favorite episode of the season was with Brad Mostrangelo. Why? Because he talks about laughter and I like to laugh. I don't know if you've heard my sarcasm and my little notes in my podcast and if you haven't, please pay more attention, but ultimately, I just enjoy his humor. I like him. And here is the episode. Well, hi everyone and welcome to Episode 123. You get excited with different guests. I've been 123 times. You say you're excited, but I've known Brad for I don't know, I want to say at least 15 to 16 years. I don't think we've ever had an individual conversation like this, because Stephanie always overtakes it. His wife, but I'm joking, of course, but Brad, I always mispronounce Mostrangelo.
Speaker 1:That's OK, I had it right, I was going the right direction.
Speaker 2:I stopped myself. Brad is just an amazing human being first and foremost, and I truly believe that. But we're going to maybe talk to the comedian today, maybe we're going to talk to other things that he does, but, brad, I was lucky enough to see him recently on Doos Stand Up and of course he didn't see me, which is perfect. That's why I'm honest, because I didn't want any Canadian jokes or old man jokes. But, brad, welcome to Finding your Way Through Therapy.
Speaker 3:Oh, it's great to be here, Steve. Thank you and congratulations on all you've been doing.
Speaker 2:You know I enjoy this tremendously and people seem to like it and it's always good to have someone who you know I like to bring people on that side. People may not know. And if they discover them, they discover them, and if they knew about them, they tell all their friends. And I get 100,000 downloads, as you obviously will be bringing to me. But, brad, if you want to tell us a little more about yourself, because I know you but obviously our audience may not know you, yeah, well.
Speaker 3:I'm just, let's see, I was born in a Chelsea mass that's a humorous on its own. And then you move from there to Wakefield and now I've got two brothers. And now you know my wife, stephanie. You work, I've been married for, oh boy, it's going to be 29 years coming up. So we live up, you know, in Whalen now and have one daughter, sophia, who's a junior in college. And I've also do. I found my own cap. I clean a business for 30, not 35 years. So I still do that. The comment is that stand up has stand up as something that I did on a dare one night. Never, never, wanted to be a comedian, never thought about it. I mean I love to laugh but and so I do both. Cop cleaning. Yeah, like I said, came into it on a dare and now I've been probably 30. The 1991 was the first time I went on stage at Nick's next comedy stuff.
Speaker 3:And that's in Boston. That's one of the original, real big ones. And now you know, I worked a lot, traveled the country on cruise ships and my wife and daughter have got to see some pretty great places, so that, like you said, you never know what life's going to bring it. So that's, that's what happened.
Speaker 2:So on a dare. Yeah, yeah, you know, I went to see her for the first time in like since I've known you Right. And I'm like, even if you dared me to go on stage, I'd be like, yeah, I'm good. I'll hide behind this microphone that no one sees Well how did that come about?
Speaker 3:Well, but your friends, look, here's the backlash. I'm such the anti-community. I'm not a drinker, I've never done drugs, I was a good athlete, you know, all through college, so that was so. But I was funny with the guys, you know how it is. And a friend of mine, I guess, went to a comedy show and like you know you could do that and I just know you know. So, for months and months they kept, you know so honestly, to shut them up. I said, all right, we'll go. They have the open mic night, so it was at next and I figured there was all the images. But I get there and it's all pros like practicing stuff. I said, oh, this will be great. But honestly, really wasn't nervous because I figured we laugh about it years later. So I get on and they give you like five minutes and I think I was just talking about family and stuff and they were laughing, laughing.
Speaker 3:So I finished and the booker for the nightclub comes over. He says he's how long you've been doing this? I says five minutes. He tried to convince me to come back and I no, you know, this is a one time thing. So he did and they had me at this competition at Stitch's comedy, which is gone, but he used to be by my family, and so I went on the second time. I did call it this little competition and I won, so that was weird. And then they started offering to pay me. So I, I guess, you know. So it was really kind of like that. That's how I kind of stumbled into it, you know. And then the rest, as they say, is history.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, when we talk about like falling into it, I hear that all the time, and the other part that I want to say is that, well, you got to have a little more passion than just falling into it.
Speaker 3:Cause you know it's a good point because once you start and then I'll say and any comedian will say this you get that feedback, that laughter it's, it's contagious, it's like it puts you on an emotional high because it's you know they're accepting you. It's a big. We all want to be accepted in life when it's part of the problem in the world. But you know you're getting that automatic feedback and you're like, wow, it's interesting. I always said I never considered myself like smart until I started doing Stan because the first time in my life I looked at it and said you can't be dumb and do this so emotionally. For me it was a real big turning point in my life mentally which was good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I had that conversation many times with my clients. They look at the back of me and they say, oh, you're smart, you have all these, these diplomas. I'm like these are pieces of paper. My smarts didn't come from these pieces of paper. You can have 14 diplomas and be dumb as a rock. I think that you know we underestimate where intelligence comes from, but that's just my thing.
Speaker 3:Big time, big time. I see it every day with people that you know like do the car. I'm with people all the time and you and you know it, you see people with these degrees and street. I always said street smarts is way more helpful in life than the book smarts. Book smarts is fine, but some of these people oh my goodness, I'll just look at like a deer in the headlights with some of the things they say.
Speaker 2:It's just I know, I think that that's what I find funny too, and to me, like you know, the I call it emotional intelligence, and to be a very good comedian and reading the room, you have to have a lot of emotional intelligence. There's a room where you talk about your wife and it's going to be funny and everybody's going to buy it, so you can go on and go off on. Like you know, there's seven, 12 jokes that you have on that and someone you know you go on the wife and they go ooh, and you're like, okay, that's a wrong, wrong road to go on. Oh, you guys get offended.
Speaker 3:I think I do and I think hopefully you notice it as in a way that and I always I always there's a point in the show say how much that I love her and she's my best friend. So I always do. So it's kind of it's more like a relatable thing that all marriages have. That's what I'm going for and I think that comes across. I hope it does.
Speaker 2:But it does. But my point was that sometimes you read the room and you say, okay, maybe I got to go to another set of jokes and that takes a lot of intelligence, in my opinion.
Speaker 3:Yes, you're right, you do. And you're like three or four minutes into the show where you're going to go with the material.
Speaker 2:Yeah, cause I think that you know you. I know how much you joke around with Steph and I know how much you love each other, so it's always good to kind of relate it, but it also real. You know, for me it's always been like I've seen comedians and sometimes people get really get like well, I can't believe he said that about his daughter, his wife, his neighbor. And I'm like you understand, this is a profession, right? You're saying that this is not like who they really are, and if it is truly who they are, I mean I guess that can happen, but you know, there's a part of truth of it.
Speaker 3:but it's not, it's a show, it's, it's the truth be told, stephanie could say way more things about me than I could about her.
Speaker 2:This is not the show to do it, but yes, I know that. But I think that that's what it is right and there's something about being able to laugh about yourself or laughing about it's so important. I mean, as a therapist, I people always go like, well, I always like, you know, I'm like crack a joke here and there and I'm like, yeah, cause you gotta laugh, laugh about yourself. I mean, I'm not gonna.
Speaker 3:That's not a problem, and for today's world I really do. I mean, I'm not going to get political, but boy, if we could just laugh a little more ourselves, I think we'd be a little bit rough.
Speaker 2:I don't think it's political, I think it's social. Yeah, yeah, you know people joke around. You know I was the first thing. I didn't even set it up, so I'm going to just say it now. I'm like, you know the, the meeting of all men and always people. So some people are like oh, you got no hair. You really think this is the first time someone commented on me?
Speaker 3:on it, you're a genius.
Speaker 2:But I think you're right, it's social. Socially, we need to learn how to take a joke Big time.
Speaker 3:Big time. Yeah, I knew we're going to build other worlds. Just a comedian. It becomes difficult sometimes because you know all of us will say it also. You know you really have to kind of think about what you're going to say and even, like I do, a lot of cruise ships and say now you have people from different parts of the country with different beliefs and this and that, and you know, I've had guys that have lost work because they made one off comment that someone got offended by. So it's like, man, we got to get away from that, if we can. Having said that, I don't think there's a place to go out on stage and just be offensive for 45 minutes. I don't think there's a place for that. But what's? The things that have become offensive now and that may have been before are miles apart. That's the problem.
Speaker 2:Right, I agree. I mean, you know, one of my all time favorites is Don Rickles. Oh God, me too. And if you bring Don Rickles to this world I know he's no longer in this world, but if you brought him to a stand up situation anywhere now, Don would be booed off stage, would be like ostracized. And yet I think Don did a lot of funny shit.
Speaker 3:Oh God. Well, Stefan and I saw him in Las Vegas. Oh really, what a lot of people don't know. Let's just see him At the end of the show. Whoever he was picking on was brought out of Bar-A-Lishampagne and he ended the show by saying we're just having fun. We have to laugh at each other, and I was so impressed by that. And yeah, yeah, but you're right he wouldn't look at all the family, my favorite show I've enjoyed.
Speaker 2:That would last for 10 minutes nowadays, and I think that that's why even though we're talking about therapy a little bit here, but I think it's finding your way through therapy is also a social aspect. That therapy is a social aspect of things. I sit there and do you think I agree with all my freaking clients? Of course not. Do you think I go there and go? Oh my God, you offended me. Please leave my office. Yeah, exactly yeah. I think that that's what's missing in this world is that we're all trying to survive it. I don't know about you, but I'm just trying to make it Like to the other side, unscathed, or as unscathed as I can raise our kids the right way, and that's that's what we're here for.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I have a therapist one time and I said to her do you just want to look at someone during therapy and go shut up? I go, no, you can tell me just who cares.
Speaker 2:Well, I think that I've done that to someone. I've done that. Actually, a couple of people have you and you know people are like how dare you? Or why did you do that? And you know there's one particular case. It was to move from the subject we've been talking about for three goddamn months, like you know, like I go back, I love comedy and I didn't say that at the time, but I always go back to Chris Rock. I love Chris Rock too, yeah, and Chris Rock you like hey, did I tell you about the time? Yeah, you told me about the time. How about you get fucking kidnapped, have new shit happen to you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, like for a client would be like you know, someone who was listening to this might be like, wow, that wasn't therapeutic. In fact it is, because if you revisit the same story over and over again, expecting a different result, that's called insanity, Exactly yeah.
Speaker 1:Exactly, so you need to tell them to shut up.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, yeah, it's like seriously, you've talked about this for three months, matter of fact. Now I know why you have this problem, but no, it's the truth.
Speaker 2:You know like I bring comedy to my therapy sessions.
Speaker 3:Right, I'm not saying that I'm a comedian by any stretch of the imagination, but Everybody can be funny and fessy in the situation, yeah, and I think it brings a little levity to it, and which I say this I think I think you'll agree my biggest thing is in life to me, when you're, when you're laughing, at the point you're laughing, you're not upset about anything, but that two minutes, three minutes, 45 minutes, anything you have that really affects you is gone. So I think it's fantastic therapy to get out and laugh.
Speaker 2:I mean, I'm going to be the boring study guy here and say that the endorphins that you get from the laughter actually opens you up for better therapy.
Speaker 3:I bet yeah. You know, yeah, because it's like you, you, you let yourself go for a while and I guess you know it's, it's, it's medicine. So I'm a doctor and I should be getting paid much more.
Speaker 2:You know, maybe that's your next gimmick when you go on stage.
Speaker 3:But yeah, you see it, you know the other people and to me it's all those cliches and sounds when you're watching people laugh. I get so much therapy out of myself because it's just so powerful and so wonderful to look out and see that. You know, just in today's world, steve, you know there's so much.
Speaker 2:You know, being at your show, there is a couple of people that were like and I and this is on YouTube too, so you can see me but and, with their arms crossed sitting there, well, make me make me laugh, monkey man. And then there was another part of the crowd that was like making jokes before the show, talking back to the comedians, and to me that makes it as long as you don't make it all about you, that makes it so much more dynamic. Yeah, then you get people.
Speaker 3:I think people put me oh, you're a comedian, yeah, I don't like to laugh. What do I say to that? I mean, I've had that a few times, Like you don't like to laugh? No, it's always funny when someone put me it's a compliment, but a little strange. You know, I never laugh, but you made me laugh. Like why don't you laugh? That's crazy. But yeah, I don't know. When someone says that right off the bat, like okay, all right, you don't like to laugh, I don't like to wet my bed, it happens.
Speaker 2:Well, it's one of those things that you know. Again, bringing back to a little bit of therapy, yeah, and my, as an emotional coach I talk about how you know, they talk about six basic emotions and anger, sadness, fear, discuss, surprise and happy. And people are like, well, I don't like to be fearful, we're all fearful.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we're all fearful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're of a choice. You don't like to be happy. I'm sorry, we're all happy. Whether you repress it or not, it doesn't matter to me, but you need to be able to kind of like, get there. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Why deprive yourself of that emotion, doesn't?
Speaker 2:make any sense. And I think it's funny because, thing to week Prior to this podcast, we we're gonna have the mental men and it's a bunch of therapists and we talk about that too, because you know, like, why would you deprive yourself of anything and you don't know everything and life is not that serious and if you make that life so much serious, you're gonna be so miserable as a human guy and you, you do people.
Speaker 3:You see guys, see people. They're just visible and I'm like you know, you're in charge of your own misery a lot of times. Make the steps, go to therapy, do this this. So many outlets now To help people, but they have to make that first step, like you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I mean I worked, I worked with you know, your wife, in a specific environment. Yeah, we needed to like people would be like you know, sometimes I remember People would be like you made that client laugh, you left and they're in a good mood. They came in they had like a scowl in their face like did they talk to you and say goodbye? Yeah, oh, they never do that. I'm like exactly that's how important it is to make at least people Smile and laugh, and all that and just my two cents. Yeah, no, I.
Speaker 3:I swear by it. That's not. You just can't help to feel better about yourself when you're smiling or laughing. Not that it's gonna cure everything, but it goes a little ways to helping you push forward.
Speaker 2:And also being able to take yourself less seriously. I think that's the other part too that you talk about. You know, socially, you know this is not political to me, we talk about politics. You know the people take themselves too damn seriously. I mean, I I remember Tom Brady when he was playing for the Patriots and he was. He went to I think it was Dick's sports store in California and he's like, hey, you look like the guy. He's like I am the guy. And then he starts making fun of him with his accent and all that.
Speaker 2:I just think it's funny to be able to laugh about yourself.
Speaker 3:That's a, and the people that are like so serious, like one guy. It was a guy at a cruise ship. I was working with a comedian, very funny guy, and I guess he made an off-handed comic like the throwaway line about about Biden, and someone was so I rate. They got up and they demanded he be fired and right, and I said so you want to take the guy's livelihood Away from him because you can't take a joke. What's wrong with that scenario? That's why I think I don't talk politics right, because you you lose half the room nowadays before you could, but not now. Someday maybe we will be. I.
Speaker 2:Talk about anything with anyone in my sessions and I always explain to people that you know I lean left but I'm not a Democrat, and sometimes I lean right but I'm not a Republican. I'm a human being with a point of view and I expect you to have a point of view. If you're just buying into the propaganda of Democrats, republicans and I'm from Canada liberals, conservatives and all that, you are just part of the problem, because Biden, trump, obama, bush, I can go on and on and I can't remember all 46. I've now a citizen, so I don't have to remember all that shit. But you know, like I don't have to buy into any of that. I mean, I've said to people before and this is something I'm more than happy to say out here there's something about Reaganomics that was actually helpful. Oh my god, you support everything about it. I'm like no, I said some of it. Why isn't that? It's got to be an all or nothing process here.
Speaker 3:Well, I say I'm independent and I say I think the problem is take the D in the hour away and we could all maybe get together on the same boat and make some nice decisions. That's what it's become. I just think that's killing us, you know.
Speaker 2:I I explain that to people all the time because I mentioned to someone that there's a candidate who may or still may or may not Still be running for all I know by the type this is out who had said that we guys sets term limits and if you're over 75 and in Congress you got to have some sort of mental health status and make sure that you're okay, oh, support all the politics. No, we talked about specifically this issue. Why did that have suddenly become? Whatever you think it is, well, I don't give a crap. You know, I sat there with your, your wife, in situations where I disagreed with the decision made in the office, and that didn't mean I didn't love anyone I worked with, and just I disagreed with that and we had that understand. We didn't even have to say do we have this understanding? But literally we need to say that now, notice, we have opinions.
Speaker 3:It's it.
Speaker 2:I go back to dogma too. I don't know if you've ever seen that movie, but Chris rocks in there and one of the lines is about it's about religion and it's in a very, very good view, like critical view. I know, harvey, fine, our view. Einstein is the producer, so it's hard to find now. But one of the things he talks about is, like you know, god thinks we had one thing wrong. He came up with ideas and ideas. That's great because you can change your mind, you can talk to people, but once you make it a belief, it's tricky. People will die for beliefs and if we move to ideas from beliefs, maybe we can survive. And this is a movie from like. Think dog was like 2000, 2001, oh yeah, and I always thought that that's a good way to see life. I have a view of coffee. You may disagree with me, but I'm not gonna kill you because we disagreed about coffee.
Speaker 3:Well, I say I said it's different. I might when I was a kid, little kid, if my parents, people becoming over, they would actually have discussions about politics and listen to each other and it was okay. That is gone.
Speaker 2:Really gone and I think that that's where we need to be able to do it. Like you know, again, I have no problem if people are not agreeing with me. I don't. I believe that women have a right to choose and it's none of my business to what women choose With to do with a baby, and I have a client who is very staunch Pro life and we have the most wonderful discussions because it is not personal and we talk about and how that becomes Therapeutic, as may. Someone would ask. Is that by Examining those thought processes and being able to have a disagreement without hating each other, like, oh, I can do that with other people. I said no shit, sherlock.
Speaker 3:This is what I try to say to myself and other people once you Shut out someone else's opinion because you don't like, you lose the ability to learn and educate yourself. You don't have to agree, but there might be something in there that you didn't know.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, but we've come to the point now, with no one's doing that anymore, and that's too bad and I think that that's why you know like comedy to me brings up these things, that we hide from ourselves or hide from others. Yeah, you know the good, a good punchline is something that makes you slightly uncomfortable before you laugh.
Speaker 3:Well, I think the biggest comment I can give when people look at me and say, oh my God, I can relate to all that stuff Because, yeah, that's what we want to do Think about what we do dumb things, funny things, smart things and talk and bring it out loud, about it. Right, and we're starting to go in the right direction, I think as long as they pay me. Steve, I don't really care.
Speaker 2:Yeah, hey, I'm right there with you. That's what I said on my client.
Speaker 3:We're going up to Canada doing a cruise up to a couple of knots in Nova Scotia.
Speaker 2:Sydney.
Speaker 3:Sydney, St John's and then to Bahab or something. I went last year. Let me ask you something as a Canadian. I was in Quebec, but I think they fight with the other kids. Is that true? Is there a disagreement?
Speaker 2:I mean Quebec is I'm going to go politics, because this is true politics, but you can look at the history.
Speaker 2:I'm not making this up In the world of therapy. The power of connection and understanding is undeniable. That's where the peer network steps in, offering a bridge of support that compliments your clinical expertise. Imagine a service where certified peer support specialists, through telehealth, extend your reach, offering clients continuous, compassionate care. This is what the peer network provides. Our peer support specialists are not just trained, they're experienced. They've walked through the path of recovery and resilience. They speak the language of empathy and understanding essential and mental health and addictive recovery journeys.
Speaker 2:As a clinician, your goal is to see your clients thrive. The peer network enhances this journey, offering a layer of support that's accessible, reliable and deeply human. Join us in this mission of comprehensive care. Incorporate the peer network into your practice today and witness the transformative power of peer support in mental health. Visit thepeernetworkcom. Together, let's create a world where everyone feels supported, understood and connected. So Quebec was founded by French in 1934, if I remember correctly, and the Louisiana purchased was bought from the French when they lost a war to England, and that's part of where Vermont is actually Green Mountain in French.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:Louisiana speaks French, so there's a lot of it that comes from that. And then the English kept on trying to figure out how to get Quebec to speak English and at the time it was called Upper Canada Lower Canada, I believe, and they created Canada in 1867 to assimilate French Canadians. And again, I'm not making that up, it's a report that was written in 1864 by Lord Durham, so you can look at. Everything I'm just saying is not politics, it's fact. So when you're part of a country that says we want to assimilate you, it's a big chip to carry on your shoulder and we fought very hard to stay French and we still fight to this day about that. So I think that's part of why Quebec has tried to, you know, as secede a few times and I'm not going to bore everyone my history lesson here, but that's part of it too.
Speaker 2:But as I remind Quebecers and this is something I've, you know, in 25, close to 25 years in America and knowing a lot of people, if anybody ever hurt Quebec in any way, shape or form in other country, english, canada and the US would destroy anyone who would hurt us, and so we have that brotherhood now. Let's get over what happened in 1867. But you know we hold grudges. I mean we still call people in Newfoundland which was part of England until 1949. And we still call them new fees, which is a very derogatory term. Might as well call them from Alabama, and if you're from Alabama or Newfoundland it's a joke. But ultimately, like I think that Quebec has always had that chip on their shoulder and sometimes it shows up in their politics, thankfully Alberta now has that chip on their shoulder and they're getting all the attention because they have oil and they say we want all the attention in Canada. So now they're hated. So it's great.
Speaker 3:Well, my mother's mother was born in Newfoundland.
Speaker 2:So I got a little new fee. Oh, so you're in youth fee. I've got a lot of new fee jokes for you, but they won't fly in America Because when I say new fee here, they're like the dog. I'm like no, you know but it's beautiful up there.
Speaker 3:I love going up to those to go Sure, that's one of my favorite cruises. Quebec City is beautiful.
Speaker 2:So in Newfoundland is the nicest people in the world.
Speaker 2:Yeah, very friendly and nine when 9 11 occurred. I know again, going in history a little bit, you know a lot of the planes that were coming from Europe had to land in Gander in Newfoundland, because I was the closest one and anybody who's been shot shot me out or right to me, if that's the truth, if you've been on there, but the whole village, everyone took in. I can't remember the number, we'll say 5000, over 5000. And they took him into their houses until they opened the airspace so they can get to the US. There was no like, oh, you owe me money or this, and that Just be nice to people. Yeah, and so that's how good people in Newfoundland are.
Speaker 3:You know what's interesting and maybe I'll let you out to take on this I find that it's anything during that 9, 11 and the beginning of COVID, I thought we were all so much closer together. It was almost not nice because it was a tragedy. But you know, I'm trying to say and then we go, we went back, but for a little while there we all helped each other, we all love each other, we all got along and that would be nice if we could get back to that point. I'm not wishing another tragedy, Steve, Don't get me wrong. I'm just saying no, definitely a difference to me.
Speaker 2:I agree wholeheartedly. I think that what happened with 9 11 after we had the Chad issues in the election of 2000,. It brought everyone like we're all Americans and, frankly, we were all citizens of the world I can only think of a handful of people who were like, oh no, good, good, good that this happened basically, and with COVID it was a global issue. We're all in this together. That's what started. But I think that we forget that we're all in this together because, I remind people, no one gets out of here alive.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's all the same at the end. Right.
Speaker 2:So we need to start thinking about it that way. And when we ostracize someone as a therapist, my first question is what do you see in yourself that you don't like in that person? And most people like blown away by that and tell me to fuck off. But I think it's a good way to think about what do you see? Well, they're not willing to change their opinion, so you don't like to change your opinion. What I'm like yeah, that's what you just said Fuck you. And then they kind of explore it and they go like lo and behold, that's absolutely true. So I don't know, that's how I perceive it is that if we understood that what we don't like in other people are parts of who we are and that's shadow work from Carl Jung and I'm not gonna bore you with psychoanalytic bullshit here, but that's what it is and that's the truth.
Speaker 3:And I like to say there's nothing wrong with not liking people. I hate a lot of people. See, it's not horrible, but let them go. Don't let them consume your mind 24 hours a day.
Speaker 2:It's okay you know, and you know it's as a therapist I've been, I've said this to a few people and I'm fine with saying that again. I hate people. I like individuals, like small groups of people, but large number of people. It seems like the IQ just drops as bigger the crowd gets. Oh, yeah, yeah you should want cruise ships, All right. Well, you can tell my girlfriend she was like oh, we should go on a cruise ship, no, All the great people watching on cruise ships.
Speaker 3:If you could write a book.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to stay away from working right now.
Speaker 3:I take. I take stuff, loves it too. She'll just sit there, Kendall, and read and just look at, because he got a lock. You just got to look like. This is what life is Right. Tattoos, more tattoos. I said the one guy. His whole body was tattooed. Everything I said did you run out of paper? What the hell is wrong?
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I've yet to have a tattoo yet, so I I know nothing about it but now well, the women have a lot of women have tattoos, which is fine, but a lot of women who are in their 80s now the tattoos are much lower than they were Correct. That is a visual for everybody listening to that.
Speaker 2:Yes, and, and I now now I'm a little disturbed, but that's okay. I'm usually very disturbed, based on what most people tell about me, but one of the things you mentioned earlier, which something that you know is a theme at finding your way through therapy is you'd mentioned talking to your therapist, so you've been in therapy before. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:And it was. It was great, it helped, helped me immensely. You know I got some stuff that I never know I had. It was causing certain reactions to me to and you know it's, it's hot, it's not easy and it's very difficult and I think people don't go for that reason. But just my opinion, once you do go, and it takes a while, as you know, but it is helpful. I it is and I would recommend anybody at least look into it, because it is so much help out there for people nowadays more than there ever has been, you know, and it's there use it.
Speaker 2:I think it is still stigma, though, and you know, I explained. I've got some people who come into my office and they put their their across their arms like this, and they go fix me. I'm like, okay, so when you go to your doctor and you ask for an appointment, you just cross your arms and go, yeah, alright, figure out what's wrong with me physically. I'm not telling you no.
Speaker 3:I can't. I'm not a fucking magician but, like I said, and you know it's not easy, because you have to come to grips with some stuff that are pretty bad. Yes, you do, and you maybe understand why they're there and you get going. That's why, like I say, call me for me. It's been really helpful mentally to me. So get past that point and talk about things and laugh about things yeah, great. I think more people need therapy than they know well, you know I go with it.
Speaker 2:I'll tell you where this podcast comes from too, and maybe it'll make sense to you based on what you just said. I think we should all be able to go to you know, mental health therapy at least once a year, just like we do for our physical health. And I have a few clients and I mentioned this many times and come in every three months, every six months, and they call me their oil change. Hey, everything going good, none of this, that kicked the fucking tires and we move on.
Speaker 3:I call, I sell or I need a tune up. I'm just gonna pin for a tune up, yeah. But yeah, I'm with you.
Speaker 2:Everyone she wants to see if it's helpful, yeah, and I think that for me it's not going once it's going, you know, a few times. And find a good match, because I'm not everyone's cup of tea. I mean, your comedy is great, but maybe someone, someone doesn't like exactly so go see another comedian.
Speaker 3:Yep, same exact thing. No, I agree, I like to. I like to go to a team of doctors if I could see 10 to 12 just sit there. We well-thinking. We've been talking for an hour now. Come on, give it to me straight well, there's a.
Speaker 2:There's a group in Quebec, or a rugby is a rain. You have a joke. I went to group therapy was me and 20 other doctors, and then I think the other line is they really fucking like me. I used to line up for the electroshock therapy.
Speaker 3:I don't lie down. I draw the bridge.
Speaker 2:I'll sit but I don't lie, but yeah, no, I think that. That's. You know, that was always kind of like. My view is that you know, you gotta figure out what works for you, and you know, I know that I was one of those people that, no way, I'm never going up.
Speaker 3:No big no after college athlete top cat, no way. But now we go, and a good one is like you know, bill hit things and you're like wow, I came up shaking my head going okay, I get some work to do.
Speaker 2:I mean the day you think you're, you don't have any work to do mentally, should be the day you're heading towards your grave, essentially. Yeah, yeah, I'm a therapist and I go to therapy and there's always shit I gotta work on and I would think of more people are in therapy today.
Speaker 3:Just my I don't know, but I would think so with the amount of stress in life there's more people in therapy than there's ever been yeah the problem is is that we don't have enough therapists to fill out all the demand.
Speaker 2:Number one, yeah, in number two, I think that with people in our field, because of especially COVID but it had been started before that we were a shortage about 125,000 before COVID we're a shortage of about 250,000 now plus, and I think that with therapists too, with and again, this is my soapbox insurance companies don't pay us enough, right, you know? And they expect us to work miracles in 12 weeks. Well, I don't fucking do miracles in 12 weeks. I tell people all the time if you think I'm gonna, you're gonna, come here 12 times, you're gonna be fine, I'll find you a therapist that thinks they can. If you want a therapist that's perfect, again I'll find you someone who thinks they're perfect. I'm fucked up as much as the next person, that's a good fuck, you should start a drive-through therapy session.
Speaker 3:Never drive through. Yeah, well, you can serve just like McDonald's just keep in common.
Speaker 2:You're fucked.
Speaker 3:That'll be $20 next would you like a happy meal with that.
Speaker 2:I took the route because I you know people have said to me like, yeah, and this is something I've seen in on Instagram too and different social media is we got to be able to also kind of like? People like, oh you, you should come to see my family, you'd understand why I'm fucked. I'm like, don't worry, I already know why you're fucked, but sure I'll go see your family, everybody's family, fuck everybody.
Speaker 2:I've had clients say to me you know I'm dad, mom, whatever, and they're gonna blame me when they grow up and like, of course they will. Who do you spend the most time? Went for the first, arguably, 12 years of your life and of course they're gonna fuck him up, not purposely most parents don't try to fuck up their kids on purpose, but they do, yeah, but we're all the same both.
Speaker 3:Oh god, my family dinners were fantastic, fantastic.
Speaker 2:Silver was thrown beautiful Chelsea must have been really fun, oh beautiful parka.
Speaker 3:I suggest vacationing there to people. Many times if you can book a bed rep, been breakfast and Chelsea, there's many.
Speaker 2:It's a new thing there and if you don't know where we're talking about, look it up.
Speaker 3:I promise you'll find this funny you'll really go therapy soon as you drive out, you'll go. You get to reveal, you make an appointment, yeah well, I was. I was thinking more like Lynn, but that's me what I'll tell you the only bigger yes yeah yeah, yeah, I'm doing a show at the Lynn auditorium and they're giving us vests to wear on great, you don't know so what?
Speaker 2:there's their giveaway for people to go see you too, so that they can wear the vests in case yeah, if the shoot first was done at the target outside oh okay, so I gotta see if I'm a good sharpshooter. Yeah, that sounds.
Speaker 2:That sounds exactly like Chelsea that's a different dynamic you know we've joker out a whole lot here and you know, talked about serious stuff too. But you know, I think of everyone who does kind of work like a common comedian, a bartender, a hairdresser, a therapist we're all therapists in some ways too. I don't have this. Oh, you know, have a diploma in the wall. I don't care about any of that. Yeah, do you think that that's part of what is also therapeutic, not only for you, but what you feel you kind of give to your crowd, because you it is a give-and-take when you do commute?
Speaker 3:yeah, absolutely no. I think by talking about you saw my show right, my family growing up, stuff like that everyone can connect right there and I think if I can laugh at it, maybe they can too. You know, because you know if we get old we should laugh at it. Traumatic things, fine, but a lot of things. We all went for the same stuff as kids because that was their generation, that's how they knew to do it. And now we do a difference, so we laugh at the difference you know I'm gonna talk about, you know, getting hit as a kid. You can't even talk about that nowadays, but that was reality back then. You screwed up, you got a slap, you know, and we go.
Speaker 3:I had, I'll tell you one story. I did a show years ago and I talked about growing up and you'll get this bank, and a woman comes up after the crowd was fantastic. She starts the conversation by saying excuse me, I'm a Harvard professor. That's how she started. I go oh great, that's a good start. That's great. Anyone who starts that. She goes. I was very offended in the way you talked about how you got hit growing up. I go. How do you think I felt? Mrs Harvard, mrs Harvard professor, I'm like you, dick. What a percent of on you to come tell me that I shouldn't talk about my life. But you know, I am a Harvard professor. I said well, I graduated at Bridgewater State. How do you like that?
Speaker 2:That was that old joke. You know, I once performed at Madison Square Garden but then the usher came over and said shut up, there's an artist on stage, shut up. That's what I kind of remind people when I'm a Harvard professor. I went to Harvard. They kicked me out because they're saying you can't sleep here.
Speaker 3:I applied there, they said, broke back my athleticism. What do you shit me? Lots of luggage, Burger King.
Speaker 2:And hence Bridgewater.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean to be that stuck on yourself to start a conversation with I'm a Harvard professor and then tell me that you're offended at what I went through. What's wrong with that picture? I want to say let me slap you. Now you can really get a feel for how I went through.
Speaker 2:Oh, your smart ass is me. Do you know what happened to me when I was a smart ass Bang?
Speaker 3:Exactly so. It's funny, those are fun things like that, and I remember many. I've had many times people come up to me and Steve on a series note and thank me. They said you know they've gone through a horrible experience. I haven't laughed in months and you may forget about it for 40 minutes. And that hits me right here because that's pretty cool to me that I have that effect.
Speaker 2:You know I go back to what you just said because I think that that you know, as we wrap up a little bit here, I think comedy therapy and all that once we start really talking to people, we realize that we're on the same boat number one and number two. If I can connect with Brad or Chris or John or Lacey or Izzy or whatever, I think that we can just realize that we're all humans and we all have our own experiences, and no one. If you don't try to one up each other and just realize that everyone's situation is different, I think it would be a lot better.
Speaker 3:Oh God, we're fighting the same battle. We're all here together, exactly. Money doesn't mean money, nothing. We're all the same. I'm with you, man. I'm with you 100%. We're all going to be there. We all got to be there.
Speaker 2:You know I have a therapist's friend of mine who said that you know has worked with you know, millionaires, billionaires, head of industries they're as miserable as we are.
Speaker 3:Absolutely yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh good, I mean, they're actually sometimes more miserable because they're like what you wanted me to do. With a billion dollars, there's nothing left to give me a thrill, and connection is what gives me a thrill, and, yes, I could use the billion. I'm going to play Powerball anytime I can.
Speaker 3:But look at Steve Jobs, what he said before he passed, I'll you know, I'll help money. When they look at it, really, I mean people say you can't take it with you. But then I say what if he? What if there's a cover charge? Maybe you should take 15, 20 bucks Just in case. Well, I'm sorry, there's a cover charge, we can't let you.
Speaker 2:And that's. They grew up Catholic, so that's how that was my cover charge.
Speaker 3:Steve Jobs to me was like it was so succinct that he had everything but he didn't have his health and he couldn't get it. And he said that he goes so money it really what's it done for me? It's not going to save my life. I think this y'all take a little bit more like that Maybe.
Speaker 2:Well, I think that that's a good, good segue to talk about anything you want to plug, anything you want to discuss.
Speaker 3:I just have, like I said, I just by the time this is, I know I'm going to be at the Caloon Comedy Club November 3rd kind of local and let me see what else do I have. And if you're ever on a cruise ship, come up and see Up in Manchester, New Hampshire, on Isn't that a mental line? Hampshire Hills Event Center in Milford, new Hampshire. That's on the 4th. So yeah, those are a couple of local things that we have. Now one more thing Merrimack. This sounds very good, the Merrimack Repertory Theater. Excuse me, I guess that's in Lowe, so that'll be on Friday November 10th. A couple of gigs if you want to follow.
Speaker 2:And if people want to follow more about your gigs in the future, maybe to catch this in December because I'm so popular. Where did it? Can they look up where you're playing it's.
Speaker 3:Facebook. Now I'm putting together a new website. So, just like on Facebook, Brad was trying to find, I usually put where I'm going to be. I'll get around to it on the website pretty soon.
Speaker 2:Well, I know that people always say these things, but I did see your comedy. I've always enjoyed talking to you as a human being. I loved your comedy. I'm not just saying that to be nice to you. You know that hopefully. I've always liked that.
Speaker 2:I've always liked the quality of it and I can tell you I've been to a few comedy shows across the country. I don't know about the Boston crowd. It's just so down to earth and then the comedians are just so down to earth. I just love that crowd. And so if you get a Boston, go check them out, go to giggles, go to Calloons. We don't have enough comedy clubs in my opinions. There's comics down in. I think it's Foxwoods, if I remember.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, I think so yeah.
Speaker 2:But we need more comedy clubs. But very down to earth and Brad, I really appreciate your time.
Speaker 3:Oh, my pleasure buddy, good, great to talk to you Great to talk to you. Congratulations to what you do and I think it's just fantastic. It's just fantastic.
Speaker 2:I appreciate that. Thank you Well. This concludes episode 129. Thank you, brad, and please keep the message. Of laughter is a therapeutic endeavor. So go to your local comedy shows, go to a good movie, go laugh, and that really works. Episode 130 will be the most downloaded of the year and it is with and again, this is not me making it up, but Gordon Brewer, who is the leader of our psychcraft network who was the most downloaded of the year. So that will be next week and I hope you join me then.