E.42 Yoga, Coaching, Empowering Women with Bethany Amatucci

In this episode, we talk to Bethany Amatucci. Bethany, who became a single mother at 19,  has continued on a road paved with life changing events and self-growth opportunities.  Her inspiring journey has allowed her to blossom into a powerhouse in the coaching industry, supporting women and moms to become the most authentic and empowered versions of themselves. She embraces empathy, heartful compassion, and the power of raw vulnerability with her global community of women coming together to be better people. This newly single mother of three is an entrepreneur in the business of life herself and leads by example at home and in her community. We will also share a personal story that links us.

You can follow Bethany on Facebook at this link.

Her Facebook group #morethanmotherhood can be found here

Her website can be reached here .

Transcript

Steve Bisson: 0:01

Hi and welcome to finding your way through therapy. I am your host, Steve Bisson. I'm an author and mental health counselor. Are you curious about therapy? Do you feel there is a lot of mystery about there? Do you wonder what your therapist is doing and why? The goal of this podcast is to make therapy and psychology accessible to all by using real language and straight to the point discussions. This podcast wants to remind you to take care of your mental health, just like you would your physical health. therapy should not be intimidating. It should be a great way to better help. I will demystify what happens in counseling, discuss topics related to mental health and discussions you can have what your thoughts, I also want to introduce psychology in everyday life. As I feel most of our lives are enmeshed in psychology. I want to introduce the subtle and not so subtle ways psychology plays a factor in our lives. It will be my own mix of thoughts as well as special guests. So join me on this discovery of therapy and psychology. Hi, and welcome to episode 42 of finding your way through therapy. I am Stevie so if you haven't had a chance to listen to episode 41, please go back. Go listen to it. Rachel Chatam was an amazing guest. Talking about therapy talking about her work. And again, the fascination that you guys know as a practicing Buddhist was, hopefully it showed and how much we have a lot of good chemistry really got along really well. So really went well. So go back and listen to that. Episode 42 Though I think this chemistry is going to be pretty good too because Bethany ama Tucci is someone that I've known for a long time. And like I said in the last at the end of the last episode, I'm gonna say it again, I hope we get to our little story of someone we both we got to know that we knew each other in a very indirect way. So I don't want to give too much in case we don't talk about if we do I would love for you. I hope it goes well. So Bethany, as an interesting story, she became a single mom at 19 years old, and Bethany has continued to erode, paid with life changing events and self growth opportunities. She meets all these challenges head on her unique and inspiring journey has allowed her to bloom into a powerhouse in the coaching industry, supporting women and moms to become the most authentic and empowered versions of themselves. With grace in her heart. She embraces sincere empathy, heartfelt compassion, and a power of raw vulnerability. With her global community of women coming together to be better people. She has learned how to put herself first. And then being better at being a mom, a wife, an entrepreneur, and more successful in life because of that. This newly single mother of three is an entrepreneur in the business of life herself, and leads by example, at home and in her community. I hope that you really enjoyed this interview, because I have a sneaking suspicion I will well hello, everyone, and welcome to episode 42 of finding your way through therapy. It's quite an honor. It's quite a privilege. And it's interesting that you meet people in your life that you didn't know you were connected to. And the guest today is someone I've worked with for a long time. During the course of our work, we've learned that we are connected even more deeply than they know that we knew. And it's been such a great privilege to work with her for such a long time. And I want to introduce Bethany Amatucci you will be hearing more of her bio, obviously in the intro. So I hope you enjoy that. But welcome Beth.

Bethany Amatucci: 3:31

Thank you so glad to be here.

Steve Bisson: 3:33

You know that it's always fun to talk to someone, you know, always always fun for me to do so. But then I realized, oh my God, my audience doesn't know who you are. So I'm like, alright, well, I'm we are we're familiar, but maybe the audience is not familiar. So tell me a little bit about yourself?

Bethany Amatucci: 3:50

Sure, I'm happy to. So it's funny. One thing my friend and I were talking about recently is what women a lot of times when we're asked tell us about yourself, the first things we say is, I'm a mom, or I'm a wife, or we talk about our relationship to other people. And since I realized that I started introducing myself in a different way because I think that's more it tells you more about me and less about who I am to other people. So Bethany, I am I'm a trailblazer I pave the way for women to follow me I am a leader. I am a cycle breaker, I break cycles of dysfunction in my family. I am a lover of comeback stories. I'm a lover of dogs and nature. And I am a motivational speaker.

Steve Bisson: 4:37

You've got a lot of roles. Yes. And I think I can test a lot of those roles. And when I hear trailblazers and breaker of cycles, those are all things that are very exciting to me. You want to talk maybe about the whole Trailblazer stuff with me and share that with everyone. Yeah,

Unknown: 4:56

sure. So I guess well, you know more of my story. But I'll share with the audience here that, you know, growing up, I was always submissive, I was always a follower I was from a young child, I was just used to doing what I was told. And so I didn't really have a voice, I wasn't really allowed to have too much of my own opinion on life. And as I got older, I realized this was really suffocating. And it really wasn't until I mean, I'm 33. Now it wasn't until close to 30, that I started realizing how detrimental this was to me, and I made it my mission to find my voice and step into my power. And now that I have become so much more empowered than I ever was. I've just made it my passion and my mission in life to show other women what's possible and kind of blaze that trail for them. So they don't have to go through years of soul searching and working to get to where I've gotten.

Steve Bisson: 5:52

And as a feminist myself, I certainly see different perception from the community and how they treat women in general. So I that's what I also heard in what you said, Do you think that that's accurate? Or you think I'm off here?

Unknown: 6:05

Oh, 100%, you're accurate. And I was just talking about this with my coach. Earlier today, we were talking about how society's standards for women have evolved. And women were used to be expected to just you know, stay home, take care of the kids be submissive, it when we had a certain role, but the world has evolved, and women don't fit in that box anymore, where we a lot of women, yes, we take care of the kids or the home, and we have jobs and we have businesses and we take care of ourselves really well. Or that's the that's the trend we're going towards. So I'm just really glad to be part of I think I'm part of lifting the whole consciousness of women up and realizing how strong and empowered and capable we are. We don't have to stay small. We don't have to sit still and do what we're told.

Steve Bisson: 6:55

And definitely not you certainly never will hear me say that to any human being. So particularly not women. Obviously, when I hear everything you said about empowering women, one of the trends that I've seen, that's been significant still happens, obviously. But there used to be like, I got to put down another woman in order to feel elevated. And I've seen that really shift I want to say in the last five to 10 years. Do you think that that's something that you consider part of what you do nowadays is to kind of like lift other people in that kind of like, do the comparison game, which is a useless game anyway. Right?

Unknown: 7:31

It really is. And, and it's such an illusion that putting someone else down is going to make you rise up. It doesn't work that way. In fact, it's the opposite. I think the more that you help other people rise, the higher up, everyone becomes Right? Like this isn't just about me and me becoming my most empowered self. This is about women in general, like I'm here to change my family tree, my daughter's life, my, you know, eventually grandchildren's lives. And I think that one empowered women woman changes the whole world. That's my intention, at least.

Steve Bisson: 8:07

And you You certainly have that energy. I think that we've previously talked about that. And so how do we do that? I, you know, I'm not trying to eliminate gender here. We there's genders in life, there's differences there. And I will stand by that until someone proves me otherwise. But how do we get to a point where not only women are empowering women, but men can participate in empowering women in general?

Unknown: 8:38

Oh, what a great question. So let's think about this.

Steve Bisson: 8:42

That's what I that's why, you know, I get paid for these hard hitting questions. I certainly have my own views too, but I wanted to hear yours first.

Unknown: 8:50

That's so interesting. I think it might take maybe it's gonna take some more time for men to see that women becoming empowered isn't a threat. It's not anything to be afraid of. It's it's something to celebrate, because it doesn't just like with when one woman rises, that doesn't mean another woman has to be put down. It's the same thing with men and women, a strong woman doesn't mean, you know, the males are weaker at all, like we we can be on the same playing field.

Steve Bisson: 9:19

Yeah, and I think that that's what I come back to is that, as a therapist, I want to empower everyone equally. And what I mean by that is if a woman gets super powerful, doesn't take anything from me, for man gets powerful doesn't take anything away from me. I still have my own power and my own strength. And I think that what you just said is so important, because I think that women are not always told how much power they have. You know, whether society tells you you're equal or not, you are equal. And that's really like something that women need to, like, internalize more often. I think I hear you say that in a lot of the messages you give.

Unknown: 9:57

So yeah, so true.

Steve Bisson: 10:00

So, you know, we talked a little bit about what you've done. And we talked about being a trailblazer, and finding cycles and breaking cycles in the family. How do you do that today? What? What do you do today in your life to help others do that do so?

Unknown: 10:16

Well, my business is coaching women, I'm a women's empowerment coach, and also a yoga instructor. And I have recently combined the two to incorporate yoga in with my coaching for this entire mind body spirits experience. So this is, it's pretty much the most exciting thing that's ever happened to be big. I get to get paid

Steve Bisson: 10:40

for so far, by the way.

Unknown: 10:42

So far, exactly. I get to get paid for something that I love doing, that the world needs, that helps other people. And it brings me joy. It's literally like, I couldn't ask for anything more exciting than this. And so I have a virtual coaching program that I support women with, I also have a Facebook group, and a free Facebook group where I just, I create that safe space for women to lift each other up and for women to be vulnerable with each other without this fear of getting criticized or torn down. So I guess it's just it's in the way that I live. And it's in my business. I just, this is why I'm here on this earth.

Steve Bisson: 11:25

And what's the Facebook group just so that and I'll definitely put in the show notes, obviously.

Unknown: 11:30

So it's hashtag more than motherhood, and it's all one word. Okay.

Steve Bisson: 11:34

We'll definitely put that in the notes for the episode. So one of the things that I know that you do that you omitted to talk about is being a presenter, and also being someone who is a speaker? How is that working out for you? Oh,

Unknown: 11:51

so I'm glad you brought that up. Because it's something that I love doing. It scares me, but I love doing it. And I'm doing it more in person. Now Now that COVID You know, there's finally a light at the end of the tunnel, that I'm getting more opportunities to be in front of people. And so I am speaking at different women's events and some events for families and just sharing some sometimes it's sharing my story and my life experiences. And sometimes it's sharing more about what I do to help empower parents and women to take care of themselves really well. So I'm really leaning into that this year. And it's very exciting.

Steve Bisson: 12:29

And I have no doubt that it's going well, and it will continue to go well. And obviously, if anyone needs to reach you, they can definitely do that. But maybe shifting a little bit of the gears you're talking about. We talked about yoga, we talked about coaching, how is that different than therapy? Because I think that there's a lot of people that sometimes see, well, a therapist can be a coach, and a coach can be a therapist, what are the differences between the two?

Unknown: 12:53

Yeah, so first off, I am a firm believer in therapy. And in coaching, I don't think I'll ever not do both of these things in my life, I have a fantastic therapist, and I have a few amazing coaches. So don't don't ever think that I'm picking one over the other, they both have their place and are equally valuable. So I have found for my experience, at least, that therapy has helped me work through a lot of trauma and a lot of past experiences. And what's kind of the focus is on what's gotten me to this point, how do I how did I adopt these thoughts that I have in these beliefs that I have? And then we work to change them? Whereas coaching for me has been more about the future? Where do I want to go? How do I collapse time to get there because I've worked with system, several different coaches and I have a business coach because I want to grow my business in a fast way. So I'm following you know, the the trail of someone who's done it, I have a spiritual coach because I want to dig deeper into my spirituality. I've worked with life coaches in the past. And so the thing about therapy that I perceive, but it's more past focused and working through what got you to where you are, and then coaching is more forward focused, and how do we get you from where you are to where you want to be like super fast?

Steve Bisson: 14:13

And I think that that's a good way to do it. Because as a therapist who does cognitive behavioral therapy, I work a lot on changing the thoughts from the past that have maybe been so self limiting and you know, cognitive distortions, problems with thought processes, and kind of changing that process so that you can be much more focused on what you can do today, and not be who you were in the past and may not have been so desirable. So I agree that therapists tend to do that and coaching is about the future. If you're talking about business coaching and spiritual coaching, you know, we throw all these things around. I hear a lot of like life coaching, I hear a lot business coaching, I hear spiritual coaching, and about 12 Other things that I can't think of right now. What do you think is the significant difference between maybe having a coach for business for As a coach for spirituality,

Unknown: 15:02

I think it just depends on what you where you want to take your life. So what's what your main focus is at that time, I kind of have been on this path where like, I started off with life coaching, and just to kind of get me, you know, in general, like help with life, and then I dug into business coaching a little bit. And then in along my business journey journey, I realized, I really need to get clear on where I am spiritually, because that's a part of my life that I really avoided for a while. And I'd like to lean into that and learn more about that and be curious. So then I, you know, started working with a spiritual coach. And so I guess it's just all your preference and what you're trying to where you're trying to go take your life.

Steve Bisson: 15:44

And I like the word curiosity here. Oh, by the way, we're listening to funny your way through therapy. My name is Stevie still sitting here with that Emma Tucci, we're talking about life coaching, yoga, empowering women, and all that good stuff. But I think that when you talk about coaching, it's so important to start thinking about where your journey is going to take you. And thinking about what you need. I think there's a lot of intuition that goes into coaching, that may not be as intuitive in therapy, and I don't know if you think that that's a good analogy, too, or do you feel that it's a little different?

Unknown: 16:16

Are you saying that the coach uses their intuition, or the coach teaches the person how to use their own intuition?

Steve Bisson: 16:23

It's interesting, because my experience is that people need therapy. They're not intuitively drawn to therapy. But if people need business coaching, or life coaching, spiritual coaching, or any type of coaching, they're almost like drawn to that almost like intuitively. Yeah. And I don't know if that sounds like a good way to think about it also has a difference or not, or what do you think?

Unknown: 16:44

Yeah, no, that's interesting. I think that coaching, people who are in the coaching world are very open to it, just because they're, they're already in it. Right? But if you've never experienced coaching before you and you're thinking like a life coach, what do you think is that so you really pay someone to coach you through life? Yes, people do pay a lot of money to get coached through life. So I think there's like this, maybe if fear or hesitant hesitancy around coaching, if you're not familiar with it, it's a little more acceptable, I think, to say, oh, yeah, I'm going to therapy, because lots of people go to therapy, and, and there still might be a little bit of a stigma around it. But I don't think I think people are more hesitant when it comes to coaching because they don't understand it. But once you're in the world of coaching, oh, man, just, you know, life opens up and then you then you have all these different trails, you can go on, like we were talking about all different avenues of what kind of coaching you want to take. But I agree with you, I think that it's a little more acceptable to get therapy than to hire a life

Steve Bisson: 17:47

coach. Right. And I think that that's where, you know, I think about your integration of being a yoga instructor with your coaching is certainly very intriguing to me, because yoga is such a spiritual practice. And so listening to you talk about your business coach and your spiritual coach, it's almost like you've combined both in your own being.

Unknown: 18:10

Yes, and I haven't been practicing yoga for very long I started, not even a whole year ago, I started because I was going through a divorce. And I was just, it was really, I knew I was heading into a really hard season of life. And I wanted to make sure I was taking care of myself still, because that's what I preached all day long, you know, and it's up to me to practice what I preach. Otherwise, I'm a fraud. So I really was very intentional about carving out time for myself every morning to practice yoga, and I started and I fell in love with it. And, and that kind of gave me it gave me some comfort, and some routine, when so much of my life was uncertain. Every day, I knew the yoga mat was there for me. And I knew I was going to have a little space and a little time to focus on myself. And it wasn't even about the physical practice of yoga. I always had this misconception that you have to be really flexible to do yoga, and that yoga is boring, and it's slow. And none of that's true. It was all I was all wrong. But the mindset and the spiritual piece of yoga I've developed so much in the last year, just allowing myself to have space to look at myself with curiosity, like we were talking about curiosity, with compassion with grace. And to be still being still is hard for a lot of a lot of women and a lot of moms, I find that they feel guilty for that. And so that's another one of the benefits of yoga. And once I started practicing it, I'm like, Oh my gosh, this has to be a part of my program because you can't just change your mind. You're not like you're not just a brain. You're right. You are this divine being made up of a mind, body and spirit and it's impossible to think you're going to change only one piece of you and see, you know, long term change.

Steve Bisson: 20:05

Well, I think that that's the you know, Mind Body Spirit is part of my practice as a therapist, and yoga is definitely something I've done. And if my Jolly 240 pound frame can do yoga, I think that anyone can do yoga. And it's not about being perfect. And it's not about being great at it. It's about that practice. And there's a group I attend in Worcester, Massachusetts, who are very well advanced individuals. I certainly have not, even though I've been practicing on and off for several years, and the support and the caring and the deep knowledge that you get from other people and just saying, no, just stay still, you're doing great. And it there's this non judgmental stance that yoga brings you that it's just hard to kind of like until you live it, you just don't

Unknown: 20:54

get it. Yep, you hit the nail on the head. There's no judgement in yoga.

Steve Bisson: 20:59

So yeah, I was always very curious about it. And I think in April or May of last year, I'm like, Okay, I'm going to bite the bullet, I'm going to start going to yoga, I always felt like not going to yoga, because, you know, how am I going to like, and then the comparison comes in? And how am I going to do and this and that. And it's probably, they're strangers in all reality. And there's, I've never had such a support from individuals, so all my preconceived notions of myself, how it's going to be perceived. And all that has really changed. Do you feel like bringing that yoga part in the last year in your life has changed also some of the preconceptions you have about yourself?

Unknown: 21:38

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. A lot of like, what you were talking about, not just the judgment from other people, but the judgment from myself. I wouldn't say anymore. I mean, sometimes I am, but I used to be my own worst critic. And yoga has helped me learn to accept myself and learn to accept where I am right now versus looking at myself, like, with shame or you know, I should be in a certain place just to accept myself where I am.

Steve Bisson: 22:10

full acceptance, and that's really good. There's, there's one yoga person that I this is a plug but not solicited. Adrian, on YouTube, who does a 30 day challenge, if you're ever curious about yoga, I make Not a dime for saying this. But she probably is the most inspiring person who is also somewhat frustrating about some of this stuff, like, oh, yeah, I know, this is complicated. She's breathing. Normally, things are going well, she's making a joke. And I'm like, I have trouble breathing again. That's the practice Stephen like

Unknown: 22:43

this. She's great. She's actually who I started practicing with. I didn't take an in person yoga class, for the first like nine months that I practiced. I was all through Yoga with Adriene on YouTube. So yeah, shout out to Adrienne.

Steve Bisson: 22:57

So I think that would be a little bit of the yoga stuff. I think that you know, we talked about the mind body spirit, I think that the spiritual and the body gets really taken care of, there's a mind process that goes through yoga. And I think that that's why integrates so well to all that. Let's shift a little bit to the mind a little bit, if you don't mind, and talked a little bit about therapy, not a whole lot. But I asked most of my guests, if not all my guests, have you ever been in therapy? So here's the question for you.

Unknown: 23:25

Yes, I started therapy. Let's see, I think it was about seven years ago. And it's interesting, because growing up, I didn't come from a family that really, I'm using air quotes, believed in therapy and wasn't acceptable. And it wasn't normal. So it was very hard for me to see my first therapist, that took a lot of a lot of pushing. To get there. I really I was very resistant to it, because I was afraid that I'd be considered like a crazy person, you know, only crazy people hate therapy. Right? These are the stories that I I was bringing into therapy. And so I have been going to therapy for the last seven years. And oh, it's totally changed the way that I see life and the way that I think

Steve Bisson: 24:15

so is it only for crazy people? Is that what you're saying? No, I

Unknown: 24:18

was wrong. I was so wrong.

Steve Bisson: 24:22

I think that it's always important to think about that because I as a therapist, I see the resistance from so many people and certainly work with first responders, in particular military personnel, and they really struggle with going to therapy because it's a sign of weakness. And to me, it's always been like, Well, no, that's a sign of strength that you know, you can't do it on your own and I know no one in this world that's ever done it on their own. So that's kind of what I kind of remind people are a little bit of resistance. You know, I practice in the Northeast. I'm a Quebec Er, yeah, the Northeast and the Quebec errs. Yeah, you got to do it on your own. So, mindset, you got to change,

Unknown: 24:58

right and this is I mean, this school goes back to I break cycles like my daughter, you know, my kids will never fear therapy, they'll never be afraid of it because they understand that your mental health, if you don't have that you don't have anything, doesn't matter if you get great grades in school, or if you're an athlete, if you don't have control over your mind, then there's nothing.

Steve Bisson: 25:22

And it certainly has seemed like been beneficial for you in so many ways. So breaking a cycle. I think that I hear also how it changed your mindset about how you perceive yourself, is there other ways that therapy has provided you with good help and support?

Unknown: 25:37

Like, how many hours do we have here? Steve, I could talk about this for a while

Steve Bisson: 25:41

I tried to aim for about an hour usually. So

Unknown: 25:45

no, I, oh, so many ways that therapy is just benefited me in so many ways. Like I have, I'm someone that has lived with anxiety, postpartum depression, a lot of trauma in my life. And therapy's given me a space to work through all of that and work through a lot of the shame that I've lived with and to just to see that I am capable of navigating this without like, you know, having to rely on like medication, for example, or I'm not stuck this way. Like it's, I am capable of changing, I'm capable of thinking differently. And it's not like I don't just have to live with a story like, Oh, I'm an anxious person, you know, I have anxiety in that I'm not stuck that way. Right? It's just, it's just a beautiful thing. Everybody needs therapy.

Steve Bisson: 26:34

Well, that's my view. But obviously, I'm a little bias. And, you know, one of the greatest gifts that I hear from clients and want to share this, because it just happened right before our interview. One of my clients says, I don't mean medication, I have Steve's voice in my head. And, you know, people say, Well, you just said that your client has voices. Now, these are good voices, because they basically like calm themselves down from the stuff that I've said. And I think that that's what I think about therapy is that you learn to think differently. And if you need meds, you need meds. There's no shame in that. Absolutely not. But if you can just have you know, some weird therapists like me in your head, hey, the hell that works well,

Unknown: 27:14

right? It's just like having different tools in your tool belt. Like you don't need to rely on one thing on its own. You know, this combination of things. Maybe it's you know, yoga and medication therapy, all these things can just work to enhance your life.

Steve Bisson: 27:28

You know, it's a question I did not prepare yet. And I don't know how ready you are, but I'm going to throw it out anyway, because that's who I am. Right? One of the tools that I kind of encourage people to do is writing. No need to write a book, you don't need to put it on a blog, you no need to do any of that you want to do it. That's fine. It's not a problem. Do you practice a little bit of that like writing in order to process some of the stuff?

Unknown: 27:50

Yes, yes, every day. It's funny because sometimes people think about, like journaling or writing, for example, and they get intimidated and they don't know what to write in. They're afraid of, well, what if somebody reads what I wrote. And I always tell my clients like, it doesn't need to be complicated, I you don't need to go out and buy like a fancy journal that has all these prompts in it. I just have a blank notebook, like from the dollar store. And I will write down a gratitude, my gratitude journal every day, I find things to be grateful for every single morning. And that's how I start my day. And then you know, sometimes I'll come back to my journal, and I'll write things that I'm working through more of like a brain dump, if I need space to just kind of let things out a little bit. But I always start my day with a gratitude journal that changes everything.

Steve Bisson: 28:41

Do you have more than one journal? I mean, you say gratitude journal, do you have more than one?

Unknown: 28:45

Do I have lots of lots of journals, I have, you know, one for like, my business stuff. And then I have my gratitude journal, and I have one for just more like my thoughts. I write a lot.

Steve Bisson: 28:55

That's good. And I bring that up, because, you know, shout out to my business coach. And one of the things she challenged me to do is to write down my business ideas in one journal. I already journal daily, something I've been practicing for over two years, but I've been an off and on since I want to say 9192. So it's been a while. But she kind of like, taught me how to write more. And it's interesting, because, you know, I'm not no longer embarrassed that if someone reads it, I read my own stuff. And like, oh, I embarrass myself. So do you feel like you can work out some thoughts by writing in do you think that that's like, another form of like a mind body spirit kind of connection thing?

Unknown: 29:40

Yes. Yes. Especially because all in you're gonna love this. Steve. I know you love Brene Brown, right? Brene Yes. She always talks about shame and how shame breeds and silence and I think a lot of times when we hold things inside, we're too afraid to talk about them or too afraid to get them off our chest. We can really be filled with shame and resentment. But even just getting it out on paper can get can like, it's almost like there's this pressure cooker and just writing will just kind of relieve some of that pressure. So you don't feel like so you know, ready to pop.

Steve Bisson: 30:17

Right. And I think that that's the stuff that you talked about too is that the vulnerability plays a factor too, right. And that's what Brene talks about is that, I think that what I work out most of the time in my journal is the vulnerability factor. And I don't know if you find that in your coaching practice, also. But I think that and we're talking about yoga. Earlier, I talked about writing, I think about even like in coaching, I think the vulnerability is the one thing that people really get

Unknown: 30:44

concerned about. Yeah, it can be scary for people to open up in to make themselves vulnerable, I think I'm gonna toot my own horn for a second, I think I'm very good used to. I'm very good at being vulnerable. And I'm very good at creating a space where people feel like they can open up. So like my clients, and even people that, you know, they might have only met me online, they'll might send me messages. It's like telling me, you know, these things that are going on in their life that they don't talk to anyone else about because they feel safe around me. And if you've challenged me on this before to be be more vulnerable. But yeah, I think that's it's a huge piece of growth is allowing yourself to be seen and heard and not really be afraid of how people are going to perceive you.

Steve Bisson: 31:31

It's my experience that our vulnerability and you know, Brene talks about it in different books, but Renee Brown, again, no plugging intended, just love Brene. husband, Steve, my name is Steve, I feel like we're already connected in some weird way. But I think that what I found is that when you do say things that is on your mind, what you thought was the most vulnerable. Most people would go me too. Oh, I had that too. And I don't know if that's been your experience or not?

Unknown: 31:59

Yes, yes. So when I started my coaching business, I really put myself out there if you're if you go to my Facebook, you know, Bethany Emma Tucci, if you, if you find what you're gonna see, I share a lot of raw posts, and I share a lot of my own struggles, and they share some of my wins too, because I think it's really important for people to just show up authentically. And when you do that you you have like you were saying you allow other people to connect with you and be like, Oh, my gosh, me too. I thought I was the only one who struggled with that. And that's how you kind of find your people.

Steve Bisson: 32:34

You find your tribe, right. I mean, that's, that's what you know, Brene talks about and a lot of people talk about, one of the things that I find with online stuff is that we have, I've heard the word trolls, I will use the word people who disagree with you. Have you felt that in any way shape or form through your social media posts?

Unknown: 32:56

Not a ton. But it wouldn't, it wouldn't bother me anymore, because I don't do what I do for the validation of other people. And for you know, for every person that does have something negative to say to me, I have a lot more people that are saying something positive about me and about positive about being in my energy that it just wouldn't affect me anymore. I think anytime you take a stand for something, you're gonna have some people who disagree with you or think a certain way about you. And that's not my business.

Steve Bisson: 33:29

And I think that that's a great way to look at it. And again, you know, listening to finding your way through therapy Stevie song, sitting here with Bethany Emma Tucci, we're continuing to talk about yoga coaching, life vulnerability and everything that goes with that. We talked a little bit about therapy. One of the things that I know about you, Beth, is you lost tragically, your sister was very young, and I off the top of my head, I want to say she was 2625 2727. In 2009. When you lose someone, it can change who you are, can change your life. Did that change you in any way? shape or form?

Unknown: 34:08

Yes. Very much. So. Well, back up just a little bit. So 2008 I had my daughter I was I was 19 when I had my daughter. And then nine months later, my sister was killed in a car accident. So I had gone through a couple huge life changes in a matter of less than a year. So it's almost like I I was forced to grow up really fast, you know, raising my daughter and then I had this trauma on top of it and did it change me? Yeah, it changed me. I had a lot of anxiety around like, what her accident was from a car accident in the wintertime. And so like driving gives me not not so much anymore, but it gave me a lot of anxiety. Or if someone said to me, Oh, I'll be home at this time. And they were like, a few minutes late. I would be really, you know, really anxious about that, oh, they must have died like something must have happened that, you know, you know, there was a lot of anxiety around that. And then not having not having the closure. You don't you don't expect your your 27 year old sister did die. I mean, that wasn't the way it was supposed to happen. Not having that closure. I mean, that still bothers me. I still wish that I could have you know, had one, you know, last goodbye or a hug. She visits me and my dreams. And she's definitely still here. But I didn't I never had that goodbye from her.

Steve Bisson: 35:38

What would have changed if she was able to share like that you would have shared that Goodbye. What do you think would have been? The things you would have said?

Unknown: 35:46

Oh, my goodness, what a great question. You know, I never thought about what I'd say if I got the chance to see her. I just wished I always had the chance to see her.

Steve Bisson: 35:54

I forgot to put a little theme song about this is the hard hitting questions for me.

Unknown: 35:59

Okay, all right, I'm here for it. And I think I would want her to know how proud I was of her and how much I looked up to her because she was oh my gosh, she was one of the most hardworking, generous kind people I've ever known. And I think anybody that's ever, that anyone that ever knew my sister would have nothing but positive things to say about her. And I would want to make sure that she knew what influence she had on my life.

Steve Bisson: 36:33

You know, it's, it's interesting here, because I'm tempted to be a little vulnerable here. And I'm going to be vulnerable with you with my audience, because this is something that we both knew. And her name is Christina. We both knew Christina. And I absolutely Miss Christina on a daily basis. Christina is in my life every single day, not only by spirit. She is also my youngest daughter is named after her. And it was always interesting that when we obviously we both went to the funeral, but we did not know each other. And to this day, I think of the I feel so grateful that we know each other despite not meeting on that day, because I think our connection would have been the same if we met on that day.

Unknown: 37:27

Right? Right. I totally agree with you. We have to share this story of how we found out.

Steve Bisson: 37:33

I am like, I tried to keep walk the line here. And I walked the line. But this is your interview, not mine. So I am continuing to walk the line if you want to share the story. I'm all yours.

Unknown: 37:44

It's the coolest story I've ever experienced. And one day when I write a book, that story is going to be in it. Okay, so Steve, you and I had known each other for three years. And I followed your Facebook page. I had been following your Facebook page. And on February 4 2019, you made a post about grief even

Steve Bisson: 38:10

even before that, because it was more than three years ago. It's gotta be at least five or six. No,

Unknown: 38:15

it was it was 2018 Yes. Because you said in the post you said 10 years ago, I lost my good friend Christina. And you were the post was about grief. And I was like, wow, that's really weird. My sister's death anniversary was 10 years ago today in her name's Christina. And it was just like this moment where time stopped. And I was like, Whoa, there's no way and I commented on your posts, and I said, Steve, my sister Christina died 10 years ago today, is there any way that your friend could be my sister, and then you commented, a picture of her and you together and oh my mind, just my mind was blown. We went years knowing each other without knowing that we had this amazing, beautiful person to connect us.

Steve Bisson: 39:09

It was such a great moment, I was sitting at a charity auction that day. And when you wrote to me, I was like, I'm like, This can't be. And I'm like, I'm just gonna send it a picture. This just can't be. And I got the buy car. This is way before Bluetooth. And I didn't use it on my phone on my car, per se. And I get home and I'm like, we're just started exchanging more deeply in regards to our connection to Christina. And that's probably one of the coolest stories I could ever say about connecting with people in my life. Yeah, and even as we speak, I know I know that I might share this video we we mean you have talked about this. I typically do just the podcast and it's audio but for those of you who know me Hey, I'm military I'd right now just thinking about that story even to this day. It's been such an amazing coincidence. It's been so amazing to know each other through someone after death. And if people ever doubt that there's a spiritual life and how people connect us, I don't know how you could not count how can you doubt it after this?

Unknown: 40:25

You can't? No way. No way, this is totally a divine connection. Because I

Steve Bisson: 40:31

think that for your the sister, if she was my friend, we have different views of Christina in some ways. But it's still to this day, I've shared with you that she didn't talk about her family. She talked about you dive a little bit about her brother when she moved in with her brother, which is obviously your brother. But that's about it, and that we were connected in ways that we never knew. Yeah. And it's just an amazing story. And, to this day, I think that we still share stories about Christina. And I will always honor her, obviously a habit living honor of her, and so grateful that you were willing to share the story here.

Unknown: 41:13

Oh, of course, of course, like I said, it's making its way into my book. I mean, this is just the it's the coolest story ever.

Steve Bisson: 41:20

It's funny, because you know, the, the stuff that I I wanted to write about that in my book. But I don't know for finding your way through therapy, kind of like book was really appropriate. So I will let you hold the whole book on that. And now all I can think of sorry, Christina, if you're watching us, all I can think of is when's the book coming up?

Unknown: 41:44

You are the second person in the last 24 hours to ask me that. So I'm hearing the messages loud and clear. Okay, so I'll write the book.

Steve Bisson: 41:56

Well, I'm happy to hear so I I'm excited because again, knowing you and what you I feel like personally, I've seen you grow through out you following me on Facebook, Nora connections through Christina. And so do you have a working title? Do you have a working idea? Do you have a working anything on this yet?

Unknown: 42:16

So I started writing this book, actually,

Steve Bisson: 42:19

probably finding your way through therapy exclusive. Thank you very much.

Unknown: 42:24

I started writing it a couple of years ago. And then I probably wrote 20,000 words, and then I put it to the side. And now I kind of feel like a roadblock because it's been so long since I've looked at it. I'm like, oh, there's so many things I would change because I've grown so much in the last couple of years. And my perspective has changed too. So now I'm like, Oh, I gotta restart.

Steve Bisson: 42:48

Well, I'm not here to tell you how to write a book, because my book took three years to write. So I certainly know that and all I can think of is that it might even be a good book one book two type of like, put together as this is my view, then this is my view now and how it's things change. But just a thought.

Unknown: 43:07

Yeah, no, totally. Because the books like growing as I am. I like that.

Steve Bisson: 43:12

Yeah, so could be an idea because now all I want to do is like you know, say, Where's the rough draft? I want to see it.

Unknown: 43:20

hold me accountable. This is good for me.

Steve Bisson: 43:23

Well, you know, I could do so much during every podcast episode just interrupting my other guests. I got to stop you. I'm sorry. That's right, the book. Most of my guests, I was gonna call them clients, but my guess would be like, He's weird. kind of expect that out of him.

Unknown: 43:41

I welcome it.

Steve Bisson: 43:44

So buck, continuing to grow your coaching business. Going to grow internally for yourself. Yoga instructor speaker, what else should we know about you? Huh?

Unknown: 43:57

I'm just in the business of creating other leaders. I just that I really feel that this is why I'm here and I have gone through so much in my life, and I've overcome it. Like I said, I love comeback stories. And I feel like I have a really good comeback story and me inspiring and teaching and leading other women can help them work through their own stuff. So they can they can realize just how capable and powerful they are. I never want anyone to ever feel like they have to look up to me. It's always like, I rise, let's all rise. Like we're all doing this, you know.

Steve Bisson: 44:30

And I think the message that you just said is so important for any type of coaching therapy, any relationship I always tell people, we're all equals, yeah, what am I what am I things with my clients? You know, sometimes they look to me as the one who knows, like, I don't know your life. I'm an eve I'm an equal to you. I just happen to have a power that I have to be, you know, ethically bound to and I understand that and I fully do that. But I think that learning that we're all equals because giving someone power still makes you an equal And to me, that doesn't take away anything from anyone. So I like your message. Thank you. So how do we reach you?

Unknown: 45:09

How do you reach me? Well, I'm mostly on Facebook. So that's just my personal Facebook is where I do a lot of my business stuff. So let's bet just Bethany J. Emma Tucci, and then my Facebook group hashtag more than motherhood, all one word, but then my website is just my name, Bethany and asuci.com.

Steve Bisson: 45:28

Well, I'm hoping that a lot of people will turn around and go see everything that you just talked about. That it's more than an honor. It's something that I've been wanting to do for a long time, and so happy that as soon as I put out that thought out there and said, Hey, anybody want to join the podcast, and you just jumped at it. So I truly appreciate and I really thank you for your personal stories and everything that you shared,

Unknown: 45:53

of course, and hey, I'll be back when I finished writing my book.

Steve Bisson: 45:57

You better come back. I want the exclusive on the first plugin.

Unknown: 46:00

Yes. Sounds great. It's a deal.

Steve Bisson: 46:04

Well, thank you, Beth. And I hope we talk sooner rather than later. Thanks, Steve. Well, this concludes episode 42 of finding your way through therapy. Beth, Bethany, I should say Bethany habitude. She thank you so much. Such a great discussion about your life coaching in your own journey in life, but particularly your story about your sister. And it was so amazing to kind of share with the world our we knew of each other. And then we get together because that was your sister and someone I considered a friend and we never met before when she was alive. So it was just quite an amazing story. So I really enjoyed that. So I hope you everyone here enjoyed it as much as I did, because that story still kind of moves me. Episode 43 will be with a returning guest, Pat Rice, who talked about a lot of different things at the last interview we talked about near death experiences a group. We talked about his mentors, we talked about his life and his work as a psychotherapist. We never talked about his near death experience, among other things and the shamanistic stuff that he does. So I'm bringing him back for season four. We're going to hopefully get to his near death experience. I hope that we also get to talk about other stuff, including recovery shamanistic stuff, as well as guides and what all that means. So I hope you'll join us for the next episode episode. Please like, subscribe or follow this podcast on your favorite platform. A glowing review is always helpful. And as a reminder, this podcast is for information, educational, and entertainment purposes. If you're struggling with a mental health or substance abuse issue, please reach out to a professional counselor or therapist for consultation.