Finding Your Way Through Therapy
Join Steve Bisson, LMHC as he unravels the complexities of therapy and counseling. Engage in straightforward dialogues, enriched with insights from special guests sharing a like-minded perspective. Each episode presents valuable, easy-to-digest information designed to help you perceive therapy, and those who partake in it, in a grounding, relatable manner.
Finding Your Way Through Therapy
From Carpet Cleaning to Comedy: Brad Mastrangelo on Humor, Therapy, and Connection
Ever wondered how a carpet cleaner can become a stand-up comedian? Meet Brad Mastrangelo, who took a leap from carpet cleaning to comedy on a dare at Nick's Comedy Store in Boston. Brad's journey is filled with unexpected turns and lots of laughter, and in this episode, we delve into his roots in Chelsea, Massachusetts, his long marriage to his wife Stephanie, and their daughter Sophia, who is currently a junior in college. Brad’s dual career has allowed his family to travel and experience new places, all while bringing joy and humor to audiences everywhere.
We also uncover the therapeutic power of laughter, exploring how humor can break negative thought cycles and transform emotions. Brad shares personal anecdotes about his experiences making people laugh, even those initially resistant to it, and we both reflect on the profound impact a simple smile or laugh can have on someone’s well-being. This conversation highlights the importance of embracing all emotions for a more balanced and fulfilling life, and the unique role comedy can play in therapy sessions.
Lastly, we dive into the significance of comedy in understanding differences and fostering connections. From addressing cultural dynamics like Quebec's relationship with the rest of Canada to reflecting on the unity seen during 9/11 and COVID-19, Brad and I discuss how comedy can bridge divides and create shared experiences. We also touch on the critical shortage of therapists and the vital role of mental health support, emphasizing the need for more comedy clubs to bring much-needed levity to our lives. Join us for an episode filled with humor, insight, and heartfelt discussion on the importance of laughter and therapy in navigating life's challenges.
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Hi and welcome to Finding your Way Through Therapy. The goal of this podcast is to demystify therapy, what can happen in therapy and the wide array of conversations you can have in and about therapy Through personal experiences. Guests will talk about therapy, their experiences with it and how psychology and therapy are present in many places in their lives, with lots of authenticity and a touch of humor. Here is your host, steve Bisson.
Speaker 2:Seems like that intro guy says the same thing every time. I hope you can laugh about it. But welcome to episode 123. If you haven't listened to episode 122 with the mental men, please go and listen to it. It's just a great group of guys who like to talk about therapy, mentorship, the difficulties we face and stuff like that. But episode 123 with Brad Mastrangelo he made sure that I introduce him as an all around great guy. That's his title actually.
Speaker 2:But all joking aside, brad is a standup comedian for many, many years. He's going to tell us about how he started. He's going to tell us, hopefully, a few jokes and I just saw him at a comedy show in Boston, massachusetts, and it was amazing. He was very funny. I've known him through his wife. I worked with his wife for many, many, many years. Love, stephanie, and Brad is someone that I've always seen and talked, but we never had a one-on-one and this will be our first one-on-one and I hope you enjoy the interview. Well, hi everyone and welcome to episode 123. You get excited with different guests. I've been 123 times, you know. You say you're excited, but but you know I've known brad for I don't know, I want to say at least 15 to 16 years. I don't think we've ever had like an individual conversation like this, because stephanie always overtakes it. Uh, his wife, but I'm joking, of course, uh, but, brad master, I always miss the strangler. Master angela's okay.
Speaker 1:I had it right, I was going in the right direction.
Speaker 2:I stopped myself. Brad is just an amazing human being, first and foremost, and I truly believe that. But we're going to maybe talk to the comedian today, maybe we're going to talk to other things that he does, but Brad, I was lucky enough to see him recently do his stand-up and of course he didn't see me, which is perfect. This that's because I didn't want any canadian jokes or old man jokes. But uh, brad, welcome to finding your way through therapy oh, it's great to be here, steve.
Speaker 2:Thank you and congratulations on all you've been doing you know I, I enjoy this tremendously and, uh, people seem to like it and it's always good to have someone who you know. I like to like to bring people on that people may not know and if they discover them, they discover them, and if they knew about them, they tell all their friends and I get 100,000 downloads, as you obviously will be bringing to me. But, brad, if you want to tell us a little more about yourself, because I know you, but obviously our audience may not know you, yeah, well, I'm just let's see.
Speaker 3:I was born in Chelsea Mass that's a humorous on its own and then we moved from there to Wakefield and now I've got two brothers. And now, you know, I have wife Stephanie. We've been married for, oh boy, it's going to be 29 years coming up. So we live up, you know Waylon now, and I have one daughter, sophia, who's a junior in college, and I also do. I found my own cap. I cleaned a business for 30, 35 years. So I still do that. And the comment is that stand up has stand up as something that I did on a dare one night. Never, never, wanted to be a comedian, never thought about it. I mean, I love to laugh but and uh, so I do both. Copper cleaning, yeah, like I said, came into it on a dare and now been probably 30. 1991 was the first time I went on stage at nick's comedy stuff and now that's in boston, that's one of the original real big ones and um.
Speaker 3:But now you know I work a lot. I travel the country on cruise ships and my wife and daughter I've got to see some pretty great places, so that and like you say you never know what life's gonna bring you. So that's, that's what happened so on a dare.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, you know, I went to see you for the first time in like since I've known you, right, I'm like even if you dared me to go on stage, I'd be like, yeah, I'm good. I'll hide behind this microphone that no one sees.
Speaker 3:How did that come?
Speaker 2:about.
Speaker 3:Well, a bunch of friends. Look, here's the backlash. I'm such the anti-comedian. I'm not a drinker, I've never done drugs, I was a good athlete, you know, all through college. So that was so. But I was funny with the guys, you know how it is.
Speaker 3:And a friend of mine, I guess, went to a comedy show and, like you know, you could do that, and I said no, no. So for months and months they kept begging, you know. So honestly, to shut them up. I said, all right, we'll go. They have an open mic night. So is it next?
Speaker 3:And I figured it was all amateurs. But I get there and it's all pros, like practicing stuff. I saw this will be great but honestly, really wasn't nervous because I figured we'd laugh about it years later. So I get on, they give you like five minutes and, uh, I think I was just talking about family and stuff and everyone would laugh and laugh, and so I finish and a booker for the nightclub comes over. He says he's how long you've been doing this? I says five minutes. So he tried to convince me to come back and I said no, you know, this is a one-time thing. So he did, and they had me at this competition at Stitch's Comedy which is gone, but it used to be, but now by family. And so I went on the second time, I did comedy at this little competition and and I won. So that was weird. And then they started offering to pay me. So I I said well, I guess you know. So it's really kind of like that. That's how I kind of stumbled into it, you know.
Speaker 2:And then the rest, as they say, is history well, you know, when we talk about like falling into it, I hear that all the time and um, the other part that I want to say is that, well, you gotta have a little more passion than just falling into it, because you know, it's a good point because once you start and then I'll say and any comedian will tell you this you get that feedback, that laughter it's, it's, it's contagious, it's like it puts you on an emotional high because it's you know they're accepting you.
Speaker 3:It's and to be. We all want to be accepted in life and it's part of the problem in the world. But you know you're getting that automatic feedback in your exam. Wow, it's interesting. I always said I never considered myself like smart until I started doing stand-up Because the first time in my life I looked at it and said you can't be dumb and do this so emotionally. For me it was a real big turning point in my life, uh, mentally, which was good yeah, I had that conversation many times with my clients.
Speaker 2:They look at the back of me and they say, oh, you're smart, you have all these, these diplomas. I'm like these are pieces of paper. My smarts didn't come from these pieces of paper. You can have 14 diplomas and be dumb as a rock. I think that you know we we underestimate where intelligence come from. But that's just my big time.
Speaker 3:I see it every day with people that even you know like do the complications. I'm with people all the time and you and you know it, you see people with these degrees and street. I always say street smarts is way more helpful in life than the book spots. Book spots is fine, but some of these people, oh my goodness, I'll just look at like a deer in the headlights with some of the things they say.
Speaker 2:It's just I know, I, I think that that's what I find funny too and to me, like you know, the, the I call it emotional intelligence, and to be a very good comedian and reading the room, you have to have a lot of emotional intelligence. There's a room where you talk about your wife and it's going to be funny and everyone's going to buy it, so you can go on and go off on. Like you know, there's seven, 12 jokes that you have on that and someone you know you go on the wife and they go Ooh, and you're like, okay, that's a wrong, wrong road to go on. Oh, you guys get offended.
Speaker 3:I think I do and I think hopefully you notice it as in a way that and I always I always start a point in the show say how much that I love her and she's my best friend. So I always do. So it's kind of it's more like a, a relatable thing that all marriages have. That's what I'm going for and I think that comes across. I hope it does.
Speaker 2:But it does. But my point was is that sometimes you read the room and you say, okay, maybe I got to go to another set of jokes and that takes a lot of intelligence in my opinion.
Speaker 3:Yes, you're right, you do. You could usually tell about three or four minutes into the show where you're going to go with the material.
Speaker 2:Yeah, cause I think that you know you, I know how much you joke around with Steph and I know how much you love each other, so it's always good to kind of relate it, but it also real. You know, for me has always been like, uh, I've seen comedians and sometimes people get really get like well, I can't believe. He said that about his daughter, his wife, his neighbor. And I'm like you understand, this is a profession, right? You understand that this is not like who they really are, and if it is truly who they are, I mean I guess that can happen, but you know, there's a part of truth of it.
Speaker 2:But it's not. It's a show. Truth be told, stephanie could say way more things about me than I could about her. This is not the show to do it. But yes, I know that. But I think that that's what it is right, and there's something about being able to laugh about yourself or laughing about it's so important. I mean, as a therapist, people always go go like well, you always like crack a joke here and there and I'm like, yeah, because you gotta laugh, laugh about yourself.
Speaker 3:I mean, I'm not gonna win in today's world? I really do. I mean, I'm not gonna get political, but boy, if we could just laugh a little more ourselves, I think we'd be a little better off I don't think it's political, I think it's social.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know. Yeah, you know people uh joke around. You know, I I was the first thing. I didn't even set it up, so I'm gonna just say it now. I'm like you know the, the meeting of bald men and always people. So some people are like, oh, you got no hair. And I'm like you really think this is the first time someone commented on you're a genius but I think you're right. Socially, we need to learn how to take a joke Big time.
Speaker 3:Big time and as a comedian it becomes difficult sometimes because you know all of us will say it ourselves. You know you really have to kind of think about what you're going to say and even, like I do, a lot of cruise ships, and so now you have people from different parts of the country with different beliefs and this and that, and you know I've had guys that have lost work because they made one off comment that someone got offended by. So it's like, man, we gotta get away from that if we can't have. I said that I don't think there's a place to go out on stage and just be offensive for 45 minutes. I don't think there's a place for that. But, um, what's? The things that have become offensive now and that may have been before are miles apart. That's the problem right, I agree.
Speaker 2:I mean, you know, one of my all-time favorites is don rickles. Oh god, me too. And if you bring don rickles to this world, I know he's no longer of this world, but if you brought him to a stand-up situation anywhere now, don would be booed off stage, would be like ostracized. And yet I think don did a lot of funny shit, oh god well, steph and I saw him in las vegas.
Speaker 3:oh really, what a lot of people don't know unless you see him at the end of the show. Whoever he was picking on was brought out a bottle of champagne, and he ended the show by saying we're just having fun, we have to laugh at each other, and I was so impressed by that. And yeah, but you're right, he wouldn't look at all the family, my favorite television show ever.
Speaker 2:That would last for 10 minutes nowadays, and I think that that's why, like you know even though we're talking about therapy a little bit here, but I think it's you know finding your way through therapy is also a social kind of like aspect, that therapy is a social aspect of things. You know, I sit there and do you think I agree with all my freaking clients? Of course not. Do you think I go there and go? Oh, my God, you offended me. Please leave my office. Yeah, exactly yeah. I think that that's what's missing in this world, is that you know, we're all trying to survive it. I don't know about you, but I'm just trying to make it like to the other side, unscathed, or as unscathed as I can raise our kids the right way, and that's that's what we're here for.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I just I have a I talked to a therapist one time and I said to her do you just want to look at someone during therapy and go shut up? She's laughing. I don't know. You can tell me just no, who cares?
Speaker 2:well, I think that I've. I've done that to someone, I've done that. Actually, a couple of people have you and you know people are like how dare you or why did you do that? And you know there's one particular case it was to move from the subject we've been talking about for three goddamn months. Like you know, like I go back. I I love comedy, and I didn't say that at the time, but I always go back to chris rock. I love chris rock too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah and chris rock. You're like hey, did I tell you about the time? Yeah, you told me about the time. How about you get fucking kidnapped, have new shit happen to you you know like and for a client would be like you know, someone who's listening to this might be like, wow, that wasn't therapeutic. In fact, it is, because if you revisit the same story over and over again, expecting a different result, that call that's called insanity exactly yeah, exactly, so you need to shut up, yeah, no, yeah, it's like seriously.
Speaker 3:You've talked about this for three months, matter of fact. Now I know why you have this problem.
Speaker 2:But no, it's the truth. You know like I bring comedy to my therapy sessions. Right, I'm not saying that I'm a comedian by any stretch of the imagination, but Everybody can be funny and fessy in the situation you're in.
Speaker 3:I think it brings a little levity to it. And I say this I think, and I think you'll agree, my biggest thing is in life to me when you're laughing, at the point you're laughing, you're not upset about anything. For that, two minutes, three minutes, 45 minutes, anything you have that really affects you is gone.
Speaker 2:So I think it's fantastic therapy to get out and laugh. I mean, I'm going to be the boring study guy here and say that the endorphins that you get from the laughter actually opens you up for better therapy.
Speaker 3:I bet.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because it's like you. You, you let yourself go for a while and I guess you know it's it's medicine. So I'm a doctor and I should be getting paid much more. The the guess you know it's medicine, so I'm a doctor and I should be getting paid much more.
Speaker 2:You know, maybe that's your next gimmick when you go on stage.
Speaker 3:But yeah, you see it, people to me, as cliche as it sounds, when you're watching people laugh, I get so much therapy out of myself because it's just so powerful and so wonderful just to look out and see that you know, just in today's world, steve, you know there's so much you know that, being at your show, there was a couple people that were like and I and this is on youtube too, so you can see me but but with their arms crossed sitting there, make me laugh, monkey man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. And then there was another part of the crowd that was like making jokes before the show, talking back to the comedians, and to me that makes it as long as you don't make it all about you, that makes it so much more dynamic.
Speaker 3:Yeah, then you get people. I've had people come to me oh, you're a comedian, yeah, I don't like to laugh. What do I say to that? I mean, I've had that a few times like really you don't like to laugh? No well, or it's always funny when someone comes to me. It's a compliment, but a little strange. You know, I never laugh, but you made me laugh. I'm like why don't you laugh? That's crazy. But yeah, I don't know. When someone says that right off the bat, like okay, all right, you don't like to laugh, all right, I don't like to wet my bed, it happens well, it's one of those things that you know.
Speaker 2:Again, bring it back to a little bit of therapy. Yeah, in my work I, as emotional coach, I talk about how you know, they talk about six basic emotions and anger, sadness, fear, disgust, uh, surprise and happy. And people like, well, I don't like to be fearful, we're all fearful. Yeah, you have a choice, right, you don't like to be happy, I'm sorry, we're all happy. Whether you, whether you repress it or not, don't matter to me, but you need to be able to kind of like get there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, why deprive yourself of that emotion?
Speaker 2:it doesn't make any sense. And I think it's funny because, thing to week prior to this uh podcast, we we're gonna have the mental men and uh, it's a bunch of therapists and we talk about that too, because you know, like, why would you deprive yourself of anything and you don't know everything and life is not that serious and if you make that life so much serious, you're going to be so miserable as a human being and you, you do people.
Speaker 3:You see, I see people. They're just miserable and I'm like you know, you're in charge of your own misery a lot of times. Make the steps, go to therapy, do this. There's so many outlets now to help people, but they have to make that first step, like you know yeah, and I mean I worked.
Speaker 2:I worked with you know your wife, in a specific environment. Yeah, we needed to like people would be like you. You know, sometimes I remember people would be like you made that client laugh, you left and they're in a good mood. They came in, they had like a scowl in their face like did they talk to you and say goodbye? Yeah, oh, they never do that. I'm like exactly that's how important it is to make at least people smile and laugh, and all that, and just my two cents.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, I, I, I swear by it, that's not. You just can't help to feel better about yourself when you're smiling or laughing. Not that it's going to cure everything, but it goes a little ways to helping you push forward.
Speaker 2:And also being able to take yourself less seriously. I think that's the other part too that you talk about. You know, socially, you know this is not political to me. When you talk about politics you know the people take themselves too damn seriously. I mean, I remember tom brady when he was playing for the patriots and he was. He went to I think it was dick's sports store in california and he's like hey, you look like the guy. He's like I am the guy.
Speaker 3:And then he starts making fun of him with his accent and all that I just think it's funny to be able to laugh about yourself that's and and the people that are like, so serious, like one guy. There was a guy at a cruise ship I was working with, a comedian, very funny guy, and I guess he made an offhanded comment like a throwaway line about about biden, and someone was so irate they got up and they demanded he be fired. And right, and I'm saying so, you want to take a guy's livelihood away from him because you can't take a joke. What's wrong with that scenario? That's why I I see I don't talk politics right, because you you lose half the room nowadays. Before you could, but not now. Someday maybe we will be.
Speaker 2:I talk about anything with anyone in my sessions and I always explain to people that you know I lean left but I'm not a Democrat, and sometimes I lean right but I'm not a Republican. I'm a human being with a point of view and I expect you to have a point of view. And I expect you to have a point of view. If you're just buying into the propaganda of Democrats, republicans and I'm from Canada liberals, conservatives and all that, you are just part of the problem, because Biden, trump, obama, bush, I can go on and on and I can't remember all 46. I'm now a citizen, so I don't have to remember all that shit. No, we're done. Yeah, that's okay, but you know like I don't have to buy into any of that. I mean, I've said to people before and this is something I'm more than happy to say out here there's something about Reaganomics that was actually helpful. Oh my God, you support everything about it.
Speaker 3:I'm like no, I said some of it. Why is it that it's got to be an all or nothing process here? Well, I say I'm independent and I say I think the problem is, take the d and the r away and we could all maybe get together on the same boat and make some nice decisions. That's what it's become.
Speaker 2:I I just think that's killing us, you know I, I, I explain that to people all the time because I mentioned to someone that, um, there's a candidate who may or still may or may not still be running, for all I know by the time this is out who had said that we got to set term limits and if you're over 75 in Congress, you got to have some sort of mental health status and make sure that you're OK.
Speaker 2:Oh, so you support all the politics? No, we talked about specifically this issue. Why did I have suddenly become? Whatever you think it is, I don't give a crap. You know, I sat there with your, your wife, and situations where I disagreed with the decision made in the office and that didn't mean I didn't love anyone I worked with, and just meant I disagreed with that and we had that understanding. We didn't even have to say do we have this understanding? But literally we need to say that now because you notice, we have opinions right, it's it I go back to dogma too.
Speaker 2:I don't know if you've ever seen that movie, but um, chris rocks in there and one of the lines is about it's about religion and it's in a very, very good view, like critical view. I know harvey fine, rv weinstein is the producer, so it's hard to find now. But uh, one of the things he talks about is, like you know, god thinks we had one thing wrong. He came up with ideas, and ideas that's great because you can change your mind, you can talk to people, but once you make it a belief it's tricky. People will die for beliefs and if we move to ideas from beliefs maybe we can survive. And this is a movie from like I think dog was like 2000, 2001. And I always thought that that's a good way to see life. I have a view of coffee. You may disagree with me, but I'm not going to kill you because we disagreed about coffee.
Speaker 3:Well, I'd say I say this different time. I met, when I was a kid, little kid my parents.
Speaker 2:people would be coming over, they would actually have discussions about politics and listen to each other and it was okay, that is gone, really gone, and I think that that's where we need to be able to do it. Like you know, again, I have no problem if people are not agreeing with me. I, I don't. I believe that, uh, women have a right to choose and it's none of my business what women choose with to do with a baby, and I have a client who is very staunch pro-life and we have the most wonderful discussions because it is not personal and we talk about and how that becomes therapeutic, as may. Someone would ask. Is that by examining those thought processes and being able to have a disagreement without hating each other, like, oh, I, oh, I can do that with other people? I said no shit, sherlock.
Speaker 3:This is what I try to say to myself and other people Once you shut out someone else's opinion cause you don't like it, you lose the ability to learn and educate yourself. You don't have to agree, but there might be something in there that you didn't know.
Speaker 2:Oh okay, but we've come to the point now where no one's doing that anymore, and that's too bad and I think that that's why you know like comedy to me brings up these things that we hide from ourselves or hide from others, yeah, oh yeah, you know the good.
Speaker 3:A good punch line is something that makes you slightly uncomfortable before you laugh well, I think the biggest comment I get when people come to me and say, oh my God, I can relate to all that stuff, cause, yeah, that's what we want to do. Think about what we do Dumb things, funny things, smart and talk, bring it up, laugh about it. Right, then we're starting to go in the right direction, I think, as long as they pay me.
Speaker 2:Steve. Yeah, hey, I'm right there with you.
Speaker 3:That's what I say to my clients we're going up to canada doing a cruise up to a couple of lots of nova scotia sydney sydney, st john's and then debar harbor is up, but I went, uh, last year. Let me ask you something as a canadian. I was in quebec, but yes, I think they fight with the other case. Is that true? Is there a disagreement?
Speaker 2:I mean, all right, so quebec, quebec is, I'm gonna go politics, because this is true politics, but this is you can look at the history. I'm not making this up right. So quebec was founded by french from in like 1634, if I remember correctly, and the louisiana purchase was bought from the french when they lost the war to england, and that's part of where, like vermont, is actually green mountain in french and louisiana speaks french.
Speaker 2:So there's a lot of it that comes from that. And then the english kept on trying to figure out how to get like, how to get quebec to speak english, and at the time it was called upper, lower canada, I believe, um, and they created canada in 1867 to assimilate french canadians. And again, I'm not making that up, it's a report that was written in 1864 by lord durham, so you can look at. Everything I'm just saying is not politics, it's fact. So when you're part of a country that says we want to assimilate you, it's a big chip to carry on your shoulder and we fought very hard to stay french and we still fight to this day about that. So I think that's part of why quebec has tried to, you know, secede a few times. Um and I'm not going to bore everyone my history lesson here, but um, that's part of it too. But, as I remind quebecers and this is something I've, you know, in 25, close to 25 years in america and knowing a lot of people, if anybody ever hurt quebec in any way, shape or form another country english, canada and the us would destroy anyone who would hurt us, and so we have that brotherhood now.
Speaker 2:Let's get over what happened in 1867. Yeah, but you know we hold grudges. I mean we still call people in Newfoundland, which was part of England until 1949. And we still call them new fees, which is a very derogatory term. Might as well call them from Alabama and if you were from Alabama or Newfoundland it's a joke. But ultimately, like I think that Quebec has always had that chip on their shoulder and sometimes it shows up in their politics, thankfully Alberta now has that chip on their shoulder and they're getting all the attention because they have oil and they say we want all the attention in Canada. So now they're hated. So it's great.
Speaker 2:Well, my mother's mother was born in Newfoundland so I got a little new feet. All right, so you're in youth, I've got a lot of new feet jokes for you, but they won't fly in america because when I say new feet here, they're like the dog, I'm like no but it's beautiful up there.
Speaker 3:I love going up to know scotia. That's one of my favorite cruises.
Speaker 2:Quebec city is beautiful so, and newfoundland's the nicest people in the world yeah, very friendly and uh nine when 9-11 occurred.
Speaker 2:I know again, going in history a little bit, you know a lot of the planes that were coming from europe had to land in gander in euphoron, because that was the closest one, and anybody who's been shot shot me out or write to me if that's the truth, if you've been on there. But the whole village, everyone took in. I can't remember the number, we'll say five thousand, so over000. And they took them into their houses until they opened the airspace so they can get to the US. There was no like, oh, you owe me money or this, and that it was just be nice to people. And so that's how good people in Newfoundland are.
Speaker 3:You know what's interesting, and maybe I'll let you out take on this I find it interesting that during that 9-11 and the beginning of COVID I thought we were all so much closer together. It was almost not nice because it was a tragedy, but you know what I'm trying to say. And then we went back, but for a little while there we all helped each other, we all loved each other, we all got along and that would be nice if we could get back to that point. I'm not wishing another tragedy, steve, don't get me wrong. I'm just saying no, definitely a difference to me anyway.
Speaker 2:I agree wholeheartedly. I think that what happened with 9-11 after we had the Chad issues in the election of 2000,. It brought everyone like we're all Americans, Frankly, we were all citizens of the world. I can only think of a handful of people who are like, oh no, good, good, good that this happened basically, and with COVID it was a global issue. We're all in this together. That's what started. But I think that we forget that we're all in this together because I remind people, no one gets out of here alive, yeah.
Speaker 3:It's all the same at the end.
Speaker 2:Right. So we need to start thinking about it that way. And when we ostracize someone as a therapist, my first question is what do you see in yourself that you don't like in that person? And most people like blown away by that and tell me to fuck off. But I think it's a good way to think about what do you see? Well, they're not willing to change their opinion, so you don't like to change your opinion. What I'm like yeah, that's what you just said, fuck you. And then they kind of explore it and they're like, lo and behold, that's absolutely true. So I I don't know, that's how I perceive it is that if we understood that what we don't like in other people are parts of who we are, and that's shadow work from, uh, carl young, and I'm not gonna bore you with psychoanalytic bullshit here, but that's what it is and that's the truth and I like to say there's nothing wrong with not liking people.
Speaker 3:I hate a lot of people see. No, it's not horrible, but let them go. Don't let them consume your mind 24 hours a day.
Speaker 2:It's okay you know and and you know it's as a therapist I've been, I've said this to a few people and I'm fine with saying that again I hate people. I like individuals, like small groups of people, but large number of people. It seems like the IQ just drops as bigger the crowd gets.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, yeah, you should want cruise ships.
Speaker 2:All right. Well, you can tell my girlfriend. She was like oh, we should go on a cruise ship, no, All the great people watching on cruise ships.
Speaker 3:Steve, you could write a book.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to stay away from work and write books.
Speaker 3:I take. I take Steph loves it too. She'll just sit there with her Kindle and read and just look up because you gotta look, you just gotta look. You're like this is what life is right. Tattoos, more tattoos. I said to one guy his whole body was tattooed Anything. I said did you run out of paper? What the hell?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I've yet to have a tattoo yet, so I Nothing wrong with it but now a lot of the women have a lot of women have tattoos, which is fine, but a lot of women who are in their 80s.
Speaker 3:Now the tattoos are much lower than they were when I started.
Speaker 2:There's a visual for everybody listening today, yes, and now I'm a little disturbed, but that's okay. I'm usually very disturbed, based on what most people tell about me, but one of the things you mentioned earlier, in which something that is a theme at finding your way through therapy is you'd mentioned talking to your therapist, so you've been in therapy before. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:And it was great. It helped me immensely. You know I got stuff that I never knew I had, that was causing certain reactions to me, and you know it's hard, it's not easy and it's very difficult and I think people don't go for that reason. But just my opinion, once you do go and it takes a while, as you know, but it is helpful. I it is and I would recommend anybody at least look into it, because it is so much help out there for people nowadays, more than there ever has been, you know, and it's there.
Speaker 2:Use it. My thing is still stigma, though, and you know I I explained. I've got some people who come into my office and they put their their cross, their arms, like this, and they go fix me. I'm like, oh okay, so when you go to your doctor and you ask for an appointment, you just cross your arms and go all right, figure out what's wrong with me physically. I'm not telling you no.
Speaker 3:I can't.
Speaker 2:I'm not a fucking magician, no.
Speaker 3:But, like I said, and you know it's not easy Because you have to come to grips with some stuff that are pretty bad, yes, but once you do and you maybe understand why they're there and you get going. That's why, like I say, comedy for me has been really helpful, um, mentally, for me to get past that point and talk about things and laugh about things, and it's yeah, it's great, and I think more people need therapy than they know well, you know, I I go with the.
Speaker 2:I'll tell you where this podcast comes from too, and maybe it'll make sense to you based on what you just said. I think we should all be able to go to you know, mental health therapy at least once a year, just like we do for our physical health, and I have a few clients and I mentioned this many times who come in every three months, every six months, and they call me their oil change. Hey, everything going good? None of this. I kick the fucking tires and we move on.
Speaker 3:I call them and I tell them I need a tune-up. I'm just going to quit for a tune-up, but yeah, I'm with you.
Speaker 2:Everyone should go once to see if it's helpful, and I think that for me it's not going once, it you know, a few times and find a good match, because I'm not everyone's cup of tea. I mean, your comedy is great, but maybe someone doesn't like it.
Speaker 3:So go see another comedian. Same exact thing. No, I agree 100%. I'd like to go to a team of doctors if I could Steve 10 to 12. Just sit there, what are you all thinking? We've been talking for an hour now.
Speaker 2:Come on, give it to me straight well, there's a, uh, there's a group in quebec called uh. They used to have a joke. I went to group therapy. It was me and 20 other doctors and then I think the other line is they really fucking like me. I used to line up for the electroshock therapy.
Speaker 3:I don't lie down. No, I draw the bridge.
Speaker 2:I'll sit, but I don't lie but yeah, no, I think that that's. You know, that was always kind of like. My view is that you know you got to figure out what works for you and you know, I know that I was one of those people that no way, I'm never going to know big.
Speaker 3:You know college athlete top guy no way. But now you go and the good ones, like you know they'll hit things and you're like, wow, I came out shaking my head, going okay I got some work to do?
Speaker 2:I mean the day you think you're, you don't have any work to do mentally, should be the day you're heading towards your grave, essentially, yeah, I agree. Yeah, I'm a therapist and I go to therapy and there's always shit I gotta work on and I would think that more people are in therapy today.
Speaker 3:Just my I don't know, but I would think so with the amount of stress in life there's more people in therapy than there's ever been. Yeah.
Speaker 2:The problem is is that we don't have enough therapists to fill out all the demand. Number one and number two I think that with people in our field, because of especially COVID but it had been started before that we were a shortage about 125,000 before, covid were a shortage of about 250,000, now plus, and I think that with therapists too, with and again, this is my soapbox insurance companies don't pay us enough, right you know? And they expect us to work miracles in 12 weeks. Well, I don't fucking do miracles in 12 weeks. I tell people all the time if you think I'm gonna, you're gonna, come here 12 times, you're gonna be fine, I'll find you a therapist that thinks they can. If you want a therapist that's perfect, again I'll find you someone who thinks they're perfect. I'm fucked up as much as the next person.
Speaker 3:You should start a drive-through therapy session. Just have a drive-through. One billion served, just like McDonald's.
Speaker 2:Just keep them coming. You're fucked. That'll be $20. Next.
Speaker 3:Would you like a happy meal with that?
Speaker 2:I joked around because I you know people have said to me like and this is something I've seen in in on Instagram too and different social media is we gotta be able to also kind of like people like oh you, you should come to see my family, you'd understand why I'm fucked. I'm like don't worry.
Speaker 3:I already know why you're fucked. Sure, I'll go see your family everybody's family's fucked.
Speaker 2:Everybody buy me one that isn't, it's better than outfit. I've had clients say to me you know I'm dad, mom, whatever, and they're gonna blame me when they grow up. I'm like, of course they will. Who do you spend the most time with for the first, arguably, 12 years of your life? No, and of course they're gonna fuck him up, not purposely. Most parents don't try to fuck up their kids on purpose, but they do, yeah, but we're all in the same boat.
Speaker 3:Oh god, my family dinners were fantastic, fantastic.
Speaker 2:Silver was thrown beautiful you know, beautiful Chelsea must have been really fun.
Speaker 3:Oh, beautiful part of it. I suggest vacationing there to people many times. If you can Book a bed and breakfast in Chelsea, there's many.
Speaker 2:It's a new thing there and if you don't know what we're talking about, look it up. I promise you you'll find us funny. Take a ride there.
Speaker 3:Then you'll really go to therapy. As soon as you drive out, you you'll find us funny. Take a ride there. Then you'll really go to therapy. As soon as you drive out, you'll go.
Speaker 2:You get to read a video, you'll make an appointment. Yeah well, I was thinking more like Lynn, but that's me Lynn's Chelsea, only bigger.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm doing a show at the Lynn Auditorium and they're giving us vests to wear on stage. Oh great, just in case. Someone doesn't want the show you don't know.
Speaker 2:So is there a giveaway for people to go see you too, so that they can wear the vest, in case?
Speaker 3:Yeah, you have to shoot first. There's a target outside.
Speaker 2:Oh okay, so I got to see if I'm a good sharpshooter. Yeah, the target outside. Oh okay, so I got to see if I'm a good sharpshooter. That sounds exactly like Chelsea.
Speaker 3:That's a different dynamic.
Speaker 2:You know we've joked around a whole lot here and, you know, talked about serious stuff too, but you know, I think of everyone who does kind of work like a comedian, a bartender, a hairdresser, a therapist we're all therapists in some ways too. Um, I don't have this. Oh, you don't have a diploma on the wall. I don't care about any of that. Do you think that that's part of what is also therapeutic, not only for you, but what you feel you kind of give to your crowd, because it is a give and take when you do commit?
Speaker 3:yeah, absolutely no. I think, um, by talking about you know you saw my show right my family growing up, stuff like that everyone can connect right there and I think if I can laugh at it, maybe they can too. You know, because you know if we get older we should laugh at traumatic things. Fine, but a lot of things we all went for the same stuff as kids Because that was their generation, that's how they knew to do it, and now we do it different, so we laugh at the differences, you know. I mean, I talk about, you know, getting hit as a kid. You can't even talk about that nowadays, but that was reality back then. You screwed up and you're getting a spank and a woman comes up after the crowd was fantastic. She starts the conversation by saying um, excuse me, I'm a harvard professor.
Speaker 2:that's how she started I go oh great, that's a good start, that's great, great.
Speaker 3:Anyone who starts that, she goes. I was very offended the way you talked about how you got hit growing up. I go how do you think I felt? Mrs Harvard professor, I'm like you, dick. What was that upon you to come tell me that I shouldn't talk about my life. But you know, I am a Harvard professor. I said well, I graduated Bridgewater state. How do you like that?
Speaker 2:What's that? That was that old joke. You know. I once performed at Madison square garden but then the usher came over and said shut up, there's an artist on stage. Shut up. That's what I kind of remind people when I'm a Harvard professor. I went to Harvard. They kicked me out because they're saying you can't sleep here.
Speaker 3:I applied there, they said, wrote back. My Atlanta said what are you shit me. Lots of luck at Burger King.
Speaker 1:And hence Bridgewater.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean to be that stuck on yourself to start a conversation with I'm a Harvard professor and then tell me that you're offended at what I went through. What's wrong with that picture? I want to say, let me slap you and now you can really get a feel for how I went through.
Speaker 2:Oh, you're smart-ass as me. Do you know what happened to me when I was a smart-ass?
Speaker 3:Bang Exactly so it's funny, those are fun Things like that, and I remember many. I've had many times people come up to me, steve, and thank me. They said you know they've gone through a horrible experience. I haven't laughed in months and you made me forget about it for 40 minutes.
Speaker 2:And that hits me right here because that's pretty cool to me that I had that effect, you know you know I go back to what you just said because I think that that you know, as we wrap up a little bit here, I think comedy therapy and all that once we start really talking to people, we realize that we're all in the same boat. Number one, number two if I can connect with Brad or Chris or John or Lacey or Izzy or whatever, I think that we can just realize that we're all humans and we all have our own experiences and no one. If you don't try to one up each other and just realize that everyone's situation is different, I think it would be a lot better.
Speaker 3:Oh God, we're fighting the same battle. We're all here together, exactly. Money doesn't mean money, nothing. We're all the same. I'm with you, man. I'm with you, a hundred percent. We all got to be there.
Speaker 2:You know, I have a therapist friend of mine who said that he's worked with millionaires, billionaires, head of industries. They're as miserable as we are.
Speaker 3:Absolutely yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, they're actually sometimes more miserable because they're like what you wanted me to do. With a billion dollars, there's nothing left to give me a thrill, and connection is what gives me a thrill. And, yes, I could use the billion.
Speaker 3:I'm going to play powerball anytime I can, but look at Steve Jobs, what he said before he passed I'll have money. When they look at it, really, I mean, people say you can't take it with you, but then I say people say you can't take it with you, but then I say, what if you? What if there's a cover charge? Maybe you should take 15, 25, just in case. I'm sorry, we can't let you.
Speaker 2:I grew up Catholic, so that's how that was my cover charge.
Speaker 3:But Steve Jobs to me was like it was so succinct that he had everything but he didn't have his health and he couldn't get it. And he said that he goes so money, so money. It really, what's it done for me? It's not going to save my life.
Speaker 2:I think you should all make a little bit more like that maybe well, I think that that's a good, good segue to talk about anything you want to plug, anything you want to discuss, um I just have, like I said, I got this by the time.
Speaker 3:This is I. I know I'm going to be at the uh kowloon comedy club, uh, november 3rd, kind of local, and uh, let me see what else do I have. And if you're ever on a cruise ship, come up and see me. Up in manchester, new hampshire, on hampshire hills event center in milford, new hampshire. That's on the fourth. So yeah, those are a couple of local things. Now one more thing Merrimack. This sounds very good, the Merrimack Repertory Theater. Excuse me, I guess that's in Lowell, so that'll be on Friday November 10th. A couple of gigs, if you want to call it.
Speaker 2:And if people want to follow more about your gigs in the future, maybe they catch this in December because I'm so popular. Where can they look up where you're playing? It's.
Speaker 3:Facebook. Now I'm putting together a new website, so it's just like on Facebook. Brad, with Frangelo I've usually put where I'm going to be. I'll get around to a new website pretty soon.
Speaker 2:Well, I know that people always say these things, but I did see your comedy. I've always enjoyed talking to you as a human being.
Speaker 3:I loved your comedy I'm not just saying that to be nice to you you know that, hopefully, I've always liked it and I can tell you I've been.
Speaker 2:I've been to a few comedy shows across the country. I don't know about the. The boston crowd is just so like down to earth and then the comedians are just so down to earth. I just love that crowd. And so if you get a Boston, go check them out, go to giggles, go to Calhoun's. We don't have enough comedy clubs in my opinions. There's comics down in I think it's Foxwoods, if I remember correctly.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, I think so yeah.
Speaker 2:But we need more comedy clubs. But I down to earth and Brad, I really appreciate your time.
Speaker 3:Oh, my pleasure buddy, good, great to talk to you Great. And again he grabs these as to what you do, and I think it's just fantastic. It's just fantastic.
Speaker 2:I appreciate that. Thank you, yeah. Well, that concludes episode one 23,. Brad Mast. So much. Very funny guy, very honest guy, really enjoyed our conversation and went in directions I didn't think it would go, but I hope you enjoyed it. The next episode will be something I want to talk about, and it will be about first responders. As you know, I have a big passion of talking about them, so please join me then.
Speaker 1:Please like, subscribe and follow this podcast on your favorite platform. A glowing review is always helpful and, as a reminder, this podcast is for informational, educational and entertainment purposes only. If you're struggling with a mental health or substance abuse issue, please reach out to a professional counselor for consultation. If you are in a mental health crisis, call 988 for assistance. This number is available in the United States.
