Finding Your Way Through Therapy
Join Steve Bisson, LMHC as he unravels the complexities of therapy and counseling. Engage in straightforward dialogues, enriched with insights from special guests sharing a like-minded perspective. Each episode presents valuable, easy-to-digest information designed to help you perceive therapy, and those who partake in it, in a grounding, relatable manner.
Finding Your Way Through Therapy
E.178 Finding Balance: Managing Holiday Stress and Political Tensions
Feeling overwhelmed by the holiday hustle and political chatter? Discover how to maintain your sanity and serenity as we navigate the emotional rollercoaster brought on by this election cycle. This episode is your guide to maintaining balance amidst the chaos, highlighting the emotional impact of political events and the holiday season on our mental well-being. Learn practical tips for managing stress, from stepping back from endless election coverage to seeking diverse news sources, and find your grounding through mindfulness and yoga. We'll also explore the challenges of the two-party system and how to handle those potentially heated political discussions at family gatherings with grace and presence.
Set the stage for a more peaceful holiday season by establishing personal boundaries and engaging in meaningful self-care. We dive into the significance of respecting your own limits while nurturing positivity through cherished holiday traditions and relationships. Whether it's spending quality time with loved ones, indulging in hobbies, or maintaining social connections, these activities are vital for your well-being.
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Hi and welcome to Finding your Way Through Therapy. A proud member of the PsychCraft Network, the goal of this podcast is to demystify therapy, what can happen in therapy and the wide array of conversations you can have in and about therapy Through personal experiences. Guests will talk about therapy, their experiences with it and how psychology and therapy are present in many places in their lives, with lots of authenticity and a touch of humor. Here is your host, steve Bisson.
Speaker 2:Hello Santana, if you're fine. It is the holiday season coming up and welcome to Finding your Way Through Therapy. This is episode 178. Episode 177 was with Meg Applegate. It's the holiday season coming up and welcome to finding your way through therapy. This episode one 78. Episode one 77 was with Meg Applegate. If you haven't listened to it, I promise you you want to listen to it because it talked about the troubled teen industry. I will probably have Meg again if I can, because there's so many things that she discussed that I thought was fascinating and too little time in order to do so. But episode one 78 is.
Speaker 2:I promise we're going to talk about the holidays, but let me talk about politics for a second, and what I mean by that is the election. I was thinking you know I'm recording this about Sunday. Originally, I thought it was going to take three, four days to get the results because they were talking about being so close, but it was decided on the same well, not quite the same night, right Wednesday morning, I guess, technically and Donald Trump was elected as the next president, and I know a lot of people were frustrated with some of that, including people who are in the camp of the Kamala Harris, and you know, one of the things I want to talk about, before I talk about the stress of the holidays, I want to talk about the stress of the elections. One of the things I said to a lot of my clients is that please don't consume anything in regards to the election regularly. And what I mean by that is stay away from social media. The algorithm will get you whatever you want to hear. And if you do listen to news reports, try to vary where you're going to get your information and not go with only one source. And I also don't recommend to do the big American news stations, but rather be a little more curious about the outsiders, to be a little more neutral and I know there's no such thing as neutral, but certainly look into that.
Speaker 2:But yes, I think that with a lot of the stuff that happened with the election, a lot of people were frustrated, a lot of people were very happy, and now there's fears and then there's concerns, and then there's anger and some elation and bragging rights, right Cause that all comes with elections. Find a balance, you know, I really think it's going to be key, and what I mean by finding a balance is that don't consume all the social media, you can don't consume all the news and right now, you know, we only know what's going to happen today, tomorrow. I don't know what's going to happen on January 27, 2025. Yet, and don't speculate. And I know that some people have said, well, they're sitting going to do this, they're sitting going to do that, and some people are very excited about that, some people are very concerned about it, and I tell you, well, nothing's happened yet and that's what I kind of remind a lot of people.
Speaker 2:You're going to say that I'm kind of selling out a little bit about how I feel. I'm not saying exactly how I feel because, frankly, I think that if you want, in my opinion, I will give it to you, but I won't do it on a podcast, I will do it privately. Send me a message. There's a way just to go, to click on the message in whatever you're listening to Spotify, apple podcasts, youtube, whatever just go, click and send me a message. I'll tell you my point of view. But ultimately, my point of view is there's always going to be a winner and a loser, because there's only a two party system. I'm a big fan of a third party and I know that a lot of people say oh, that's because you're a Canadian, I'm American. Now I vote in this election. I am legally an American, in case anyone wonders, and I still think that two party systems are just made to do that to push one against the other, and that probably will come up during the holidays.
Speaker 2:So what I'd like to do is for you guys to listen to this important message from freeai and then I'll come back on the other side, getfreeai yes, you've heard me talk about it previously in other episodes, but I'm going to talk about it again because getfreeai is just a great service. Imagine being able to pay attention to your clients all the time, instead of writing notes and making sure that the notes gonna sound good and how are you gonna write that note, and things like that. Getfreeai liberates you from making sure that you're writing what the client is saying, because it is keeping track of what you're saying and will create, after the end of every session, a progress note. But it goes above and beyond that. Not only does it create a progress note, it also gives you suggestions for goals, gives you even a mental status if you've asked questions around that, as well as being able to write a letter for your client to know what you talked about. So that's the great great thing. It saves me time, it saves me a lot of aggravation and it just speeds up the progress note process so well. And for $99 a month. I know that that's nothing that's worth my time. That's where my money you know. The best part of it, too, is that if you want to go and put in the code Steve50 when you get the service at the checkout code is Steve50, you get $50 off your first month and if you get a whole year, you save a whole 10% for the whole year. So again, steve50 at checkout for getfreeai will get you $50 off for the first month and, like I said, get a full year, get 10% off, get free from writing notes, get free from always scribbling while you're talking to a client and just paying attention to your clients. So they win out, you win out, everybody wins, and I think that this is the greatest thing. And if you're up to a point where you got to change a treatment plan, well, the goals are generated for you. So, getfreeai code Steve 50 to save $50 on your first month. Welcome back.
Speaker 2:And when we talk about so people are going to be unhappy. Some people are going to be happy and they're going to don't want to talk about the holidays. Some people want to talk about it. Point being is that limit it. You know, one of the things is that, like I said, when there's only a two party system, there's a winner and a loser. And I know that people will say, well, there's other parties, yeah, but they're not pushed the same. And both sides in the United States have made it clear that they don't want a third party. And if you don't know why they feel that way, just look at what happened with Bernie Sanders in the primaries in 2008, or not 2008, 2016. I'm sorry, but anyway I digress.
Speaker 2:My being is we're not in a system where we're going to be able to agree and it's always going to be us versus them. And I think that that's the craziest thing, because we're all Americans and I know you're going to say it's a cop out again, but no, the truth is we're all Americans. I want what's best for this country, just like most Americans that I know. I don't think of any Americans actually that don't want that, but I don't want to put everyone in the same because I don't do all or nothing, thinking, haha, kind of distortions, but distortions, but you know, learning to walk away and not let you know emotional reasoning be what you see. So if you're very happy and that's all you're going to be, then yeah, that's not necessarily everything's going to be happy. Or hunky dory, if your candidate one, and if you're very, very sad, that doesn't mean things will always be sad or angry, or you can be angry, which is fine too, but you're not going to be angry and sad. Necessarily. It's not going to always be all or nothing. And if you're embracing the all or nothing, you're going to have trouble embracing the holidays because the holidays is very difficult, right? So I'm going to talk about the holidays Now. I'm done talking about politics Again.
Speaker 2:I just get sick of it personally and I really think that we need to acknowledge that some people struggle with the holidays not only because of the politics but other stuff. So if you had someone who passed away recently, in the last year, this is the first holidays without them and that hurts, and acknowledge that in the way that you know, it hurts, it's upsetting, whatever the case may be, and realize that maybe you can develop new traditions and there's ways to deal with that. So you know, for some people it's starting a new tradition of doing it at a different house, or people bringing their own dishes, or being able to do an activity that you don't typically do go drive around and find the lights in the area, or visiting other people as a different coping mechanism. But the point is is that, you know, bring your whole range of emotions, be okay with feeling the way you do and also realize that this, too, shall pass. It's not going to last forever and if you again getting someone you passed away and you want to start these new tradition, it'll help. You feel like you've changed it. You've never forgotten about that person. That's something I got to remind you is that you won't forget about that person. It's always going to be there and some years are going to be harder and some years are going to be easier.
Speaker 2:But realizing that change maybe the tradition will also make it easier and keep them in mind, whether it's also like I know, a client of mine goes to a particular church and lights candles in the memory of the people who passed away around the holidays, whether it's around Christmas, whether it's Thanksgiving, whether it's the new year, but it's very important to do so and also realizing that self-care also means setting boundaries. And what I mean by that is I'm going to get probably a few invites. I'm not that social, actually, frankly, but I'm going to get a few invites to different holiday gatherings in the next few weeks, and there's some of them I will want to go, excitingly, and others I don't want to go. And I got to respect that because, you know, I know myself I can socialize a couple of times a week, but I get really overwhelmed after a while. Most people think of me as someone who's extroverted because of my job. You obviously hear me on this podcast. It can be very loud, but I'm actually a little bit of both and I love being able to meet people. I enjoy that time, but I'm not always able to recharge my batteries if I don't get a chance. So I want to do that. So I'm going to set some boundaries myself and I, you know, tell people you don't want to. You want to do certain things.
Speaker 2:The other part of setting boundaries is not talking about certain things. Yeah, we talked about politics earlier, but it's also kind of like other stuff about. You know, some people want to talk about people who passed away and others don't, and that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just realizing what your boundaries are and making sure you respect them, and that doesn't mean you take it out on other people. So I've seen people say here's my boundary. You better listen. And that's not how that works. And boundary is like it's for you and if you got to walk away, you walk away. And if people get upset, then they get upset, but you don't need to always like push it on people, so to speak. Your boundaries are yours. You don't need to explain it to people, pardon me. You just have to be able to share them if you need to, but otherwise just send them and be okay with steering away conversations that are too difficult for you, which leads to self-care.
Speaker 2:So again, I talked about me being much more of a introvert than most people believe. So you know, I'm not going to set up five things in a five day period. I'm going to set up one or two and then I'm going to do some self-care. You know, doing things I enjoy, honestly, it's like taking a night off and watching some something on TV, usually a sports event or going away with my kids for a night or two just to have fun, or even doing something just with them, not in the crowds, but rather just me and them, because it's fun, whether we're, you know, decorating the tree, cause again, we celebrate Christmas. You don't have to celebrate christmas, but we do are rearranging a little bit of the living room in order to make that work, or try some new things. But I also need to find ways to take care of myself, and that's good sleep, eating regularly and making sure you get all the rest that you need, and staying connected with the people you care for. So you know like it's easy to isolate because you're so overwhelmed. But you know I have a few friends that I count on. They know who they are. I've talked about some of them that are up in Canada, and I have a few friends out here too that are just people I connect with and I care for and I want to continue connecting with them just to keep my wellbeing, and sometimes that's hard, but I make time for them and that's absolutely important to do.
Speaker 2:And focusing on the positive, what are the good things that happen in the holidays? You know, while you can concentrate on the idiots at the mall cutting you off or taking your parking spot or what have you. You can, also your kids. Are you having a good time? You know, like I know people love that Black Friday shopping. I can't imagine doing that, but people like that, people like to have those gatherings of cutting down the tree. We used to do that, me and the girls, my daughters and we don't do that anymore. We have a nice fake tree that we actually like. So, but finding those things that you enjoy and focus on those positives, because when you're cutting down the tree, you're putting it in the house. You're doing it together. Cleaning out the tree, you're putting it in the house you're doing together, cleaning out the needles, laughing about maybe dropping an ornament, not losing your crap about it, and thinking about how you're building your relationship with others by doing these fun things. Uh, there's a shrine not far from my house and they put out the Christmas lights, I think, and again, you can celebrate whatever you want, not pushing Christmas. They'll put up the lights probably around Thanksgiving, probably a little before that, and then walking around there with my kids is just fun. I remember pushing them in a stroller doing that, and now they're old enough, they're older and they walk with me and we have a great time.
Speaker 2:And if all things break down, you can't do it, seek professional help. Obviously, you know that finding your way through therapy is also talking about having a therapist. I'm a big fan of having a therapist, I know. You know I have one, and I have people who come in every six months, every three months, every year, whatever the case may be, and that's fine with me. But sometimes, you know, I have people like, hey, I'm having a hard time, can I come back for a few sessions, or the holidays are difficult or something happened or whatever. So hopefully you have someone like that.
Speaker 2:If not, seek professional help in the sense that people can help you in managing your anxiety, managing your stress, and sometimes it's also venting. People don't think about therapy as a venting thing, but coming in and just having to say what the hell you want to say, I let people just yell, scream, cry, whatever they need to do in order to feel comfortable. So those are the things I would recommend. And if you have like some sort of you know you journal, you do some mindfulness, you do some meditation, you do some stuff like that, go ahead and continue doing that. Yoga is a great one too, but find those things that you can do so that it can reduce the stress that you have. But I do hope this was helpful and obviously you'll see in the show notes a little bit of these tricks and if you want extra tricks, just write me a text through any platform you're using right now and I'll definitely help you out.
Speaker 2:But this concludes episode 178, but episode 179 is going to be with someone that you know I got connected with through. It was interesting. They connected with me via Facebook and her name is Erica Curry. I think she has a great story. We're going to talk about working with professional athletes, among other things, but also DBT and how that can help everyone, not just quote borderline personality disorder. So I hope you join me.
Speaker 1:Please like, subscribe and follow this podcast on your favorite platform, so I hope you join me then for consultation. If you are in a mental health crisis, call 988 for assistance. This number is available in the United States and Canada.
