.jpg)
Finding Your Way Through Therapy
Join Steve Bisson, LMHC as he unravels the complexities of therapy and counseling. Engage in straightforward dialogues, enriched with insights from special guests sharing a like-minded perspective. Each episode presents valuable, easy-to-digest information designed to help you perceive therapy, and those who partake in it, in a grounding, relatable manner.
Finding Your Way Through Therapy
E.180 Supportive Journeys in Recovery and Beyond
Can the holiday season be truly joyous without the shadow of substance temptation? Join me, Steve Bisson, as we explore the compelling differences between sobriety and recovery—two paths often confused but profoundly distinct. I'll guide you through the layered complexities of maintaining a sober lifestyle during the holidays. With gatherings aplenty, learn why the 12-step programs of Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous might just be the lifeline you—or someone you love—needs. Through community and shared experiences, find out how recovery transforms lives, offering not just abstinence but a supportive structure to thrive amidst holiday challenges.
Your journey to lasting recovery is not one you must undertake alone. In this episode, I emphasize the vital role of allies, those who stand by you as you navigate the tumultuous waters of addiction recovery. Learn how establishing clear personal boundaries and leveraging resources like therapy and support groups can reinforce your resolve. With insights from our upcoming guest, Daniel Gospardek, prepare to empower yourself and others on this transformative path. Whether you're in recovery or a supportive ally, this conversation offers the insights and encouragement needed to navigate the season with resilience and hope.
Hi and welcome to Finding your Way Through Therapy. A proud member of the PsychCraft Network, the goal of this podcast is to demystify therapy, what can happen in therapy and the wide array of conversations you can have in and about therapy Through personal experiences. Guests will talk about therapy, their experiences with it and how psychology and therapy are present in many places in their lives, with lots of authenticity and a touch of humor. Here is your host, steve Bisson.
Speaker 2:Alors, joyeuses Feiertunen. Happy holidays to everyone. Welcome to episode 180. If you haven't listened to episode 179, go back to listen to it. Erica Curry was on. We talked about motivation, dbt, we talked about coaching individuals and all the good stuff. So please go back and listen to that. But episode 180 was supposed to be with two guests that unfortunately are not able to make it, so I'm going to be talking about sobriety and recovery. I'm more than happy to give you my points of view on that. So I'm going to be talking about sobriety and recovery. I'm more than happy to give you my points of view on that. So I think that that would be particularly into holidays. I think it's very important to discuss that. So please come back after this message from freeai and we're going to talk about it.
Speaker 2:Getfreeai yes, you've heard me talk about it previously in other episodes, but I'm going to talk about it again because get freeai is just a great service. Imagine being able to pay attention to your clients all the time, instead of writing notes and making sure that the note's going to sound good and how are you going to write that note, and things like that. Getfreeai liberates you from making sure that you're writing what the client is saying, because it is keeping track of what you're saying and will create, after the end of every session, a progress note. But it goes above and beyond that. Not only does it create a progress note, it also gives you suggestions for goals, gives you even a mental status if you've asked questions around that, as well as being able to write a letter for your client to know what you talked about. So that's the great, great thing. It saves me time, it saves me a lot of aggravation and it just speeds up the progress note process. So well, and for $99 a month, I know that that's nothing. That's worth my time, that's worth my money, you know. The best part of it too is that if you want to go and put in the code Steve50 when you get the service at the checkout code is Steve50, you get $50 off your first month and if you get a whole year, you save a whole 10% for the whole year. So again, steve50 at checkout for getfreeai, we'll give you $50 off for the first month and, like I said, get a full year, get 10% off, get free from writing notes, get free from always scribbling while you're talking to a client and just paying attention to your client. So they win out, you win out, everybody wins, and I think that this is the greatest thing. And if you're up to a point where you got to change a treatment plan, well, the goals are generated for you. So getfreeai code Steve50 to save $50 on your first month. Well, welcome back.
Speaker 2:And one of the things that I would say to you guys is that in the holidays in particular can be very difficult for people who are either newly sober or even people who have been sober for a long period of time. What usually happens in the holidays is what do we people do? They get together, they socialize. And what do we socialize in westernized cultures? Alcohol, sometimes smoking, sometimes more stuff and other drugs. And when you're newly in recovery or you've struggled with recovery or what have you, it can be very difficult.
Speaker 2:So let's talk about that a little bit, because you know there's a distinction for sobriety versus recovery, and for me it's pretty easy. Sobriety is you're not using any substances and you decide that you need to stop. You don't have any supports, you haven't set up anything, you're just stopped. That's good, but it's also sometimes led to there's an expression, and I'm sure there's a more technical term, but obviously you've listened to this podcast long enough that you've heard it. You heard me talk in real terms and what they call that a dry drunk. And what a dry drunk is is someone who is very angry, bitter, because they can't drink and so therefore, they take it out on other people, and that's sobriety. You don't have any support, you don't have any ways to work on it, think differently and for me, the difference between sobriety and recovery recovery is you have an active process where you're working with. Most people think it's just self-help, particularly AA or NA. Well, alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous is a great process and it's a 12-step. You know, I think that there's other ones, but let's talk about those particular ones.
Speaker 2:For the step programs, people ask me why do they work? Well, they work because it's a community of people who've been there, done that and have a few t-shirts, and what I mean by that is they've struggled with their sobriety, probably in the past, and they're trying to give you a group of people who have struggled and can work together in order to maintain your sobriety and recovery, and a lot of them can have a higher power. A has come a long way, doesn't always talk about a higher power, but something you know. You do it for, basically, and then go through the steps. The 12 steps are so important and I I like this 12 steps because there's a lot of content. You know doing a to me and I you've heard me say this on other podcasts but really doing the. You know step four and going through an, a fearless inventory of what you've done and then going and actually talking to people. I think that's step eight. I'm not too familiar and if you correct me, please do direct message me. More than happy to get that. I was wrong. However, you know we need to have some sort of like community, we have a structure, and I think that that's what works really well in sobriety and recovery, I should say, and what I think people really enjoy.
Speaker 2:We talked about the AA and NA people. Let's talk about other stuff that also exists. Well, one of the things that people do also there's smart recovery, which smart recovery is based on cognitive, behavioral stuff. It looks at your behavior right now and what you need to change, where AA tends to look at the past, what you've done, and asking for forgiveness and doing fearless inventories and stuff like that. There's a lot of that where smart recovery is more in the here and now.
Speaker 2:What can you do now to stay sober? They don't particularly count it the same way, and that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. Everyone can count the way they want. But from my perspective, I think that smart recovery is also a good process, and I again support AA fully. I know a lot of people who have benefited from AA, so definitely want to make sure that I mentioned that too. There's Celebrate Recovery and there's a lot of them that I don't even know about. But having a community I know that there's apps now that are really helpful, for they also give you resources, so you can use that as a recovery community, and I know there's Facebook groups, reddit groups and stuff like that. So use that for your recovery process, and that's very important to me. I think that once you realize that sobriety is very difficult, having a community is going to be very beneficial.
Speaker 2:Now, why the holidays? Well, I've never been to a holiday gathering where someone didn't have alcohol there, and if that's your poison, as I call it, it can be very difficult to say no. So how do you say no? I tell people, tell the truth, and some people say to me well, I don't want to tell the truth, I don't want to be seen as that guy or that woman and I say, okay, well, that's a choice you're making. So what are you going to do? What's your other options? Oh, I'm going for a walk. Oh, I'm watching my weight Not today, I had a rough night last night or other situations. So set up what you're going to say to say no, because I think what happens a whole lot of times is that people don't know how to say no and they don't set it up in advance. So being able in advance is very important.
Speaker 2:If you decide to talk about it, I think that people will respect that a lot more. I know that some individuals who I've worked with they've had family members who gave them a hard time for stopping. You know, just pick it up in January, or what have you? Well, no, you make your choices and I think that having a strong sense of self, you know new recovery and new sobriety. Sometimes it's hard to have that good sense of self and I think it's important to start thinking about it that way so that you can send those like it's good, it's not good for me to drink smoke, shoot, snort, whatever way you consume your substances. But setting those limits, setting those boundaries for you, not for other people, and trying to please others is so important, which brings me to people pleasing.
Speaker 2:I think a lot of people will drink because, oh, you know, that's the social thing to do. They expect me to drink. Well, doing the nice thing for other people means you're doing the wrong thing to yourself. So, having a good, strong self, a sense of self, and knowing what's best for you, with the pressure of come on, it's just one or what have you. Well, you know that's how chips start, right? Who eats a singular chip or crisps, if you're listening to me, in Europe? No one. People have one, two, three and they lose control and they have a whole back, not all the time, but you get the point. And it's the same thing with the drinks, right?
Speaker 2:And some people have suggested to me that that's something that you know is really hard to say no, particularly with families that have a high level of alcohol use. Well, there's another option Don't show up, and I know that feels isolating and all that. But if you have a community we talked about the support systems, we talked about Facebook, we talked about Reddit and maybe your support system can help you. And there's apps. I always forget about the apps, but the apps are there. So, yeah, use those resources if you feel isolated from your family and you don't feel strong enough or what have you? And maybe you even, like I, had a client of mine who didn't know how to say no to their family, so they have to travel to go see their family. So they said, oh, you know what, we got someone coming over, we got to fix some stuff. If I can make it, I can make it. They knew they wouldn't make it, so they would just cancel it and then say they couldn't fly in, but find something that's.
Speaker 2:I don't like excuses, I don't like lies, because then you got to remember lies, but for me it's being truthful is very important, and being able to do so is conversation that you would have for yourself. And if you don't feel comfortable, start journaling about it. Why is it so hard for me to stop blank and then write? What can I say in order to stop? I like the journaling idea. I like writing down your ideas, because what happens is, when you keep it in your head, we tend to forget. We're human beings, right? We forget. So from my perspective, it's important to remember what you need to do for yourself, and writing it down is so important. I journal I think I've said this on this podcast before. I've been journaling on and off since 1992. And right now, as we are in December, I'm almost done with my five-year journal, which is only a few lines, but I've done that. But learning how to journal writing down, particularly when you know you're going to be in a stressful situation, is very important.
Speaker 2:The other thing that some people have said well, what about control drinking? Well, control drinking is very challenging, and what I mean by that is this I do control drinking. Well, control drinking is very challenging, and what I mean by that is this I do control drinking. I've mentioned here before that I've had some problems with substances. My grandfathers did too, and you know it's inherited. So I really want to make sure that I set my limits and boundaries in regards to that.
Speaker 2:So you know, I get myself to have one drink a month, and it's not two, it's not three, it's not four, it's one, and maybe for the holidays maybe I'll have a second one, but not on the same day. But those are my numbers for me, and what I mean by that is this I know for me that I can't go any further. I can't have two drinks in a row. It's just not possible and that's why, like if I ever am in a temptation situation, I have a few people in my life that know about my problems with drinking in the past and are willing to kick my ass literally, physically and emotionally, if I go and reach for something else. And that's a good reminder. And I know people like, oh, physical violence, I'm like no, but that works for me. That doesn't mean it works for you.
Speaker 2:What I think works with most individual is sticking to a number and knowing you can do that. Now, if you're new to sobriety, that's going to be extremely hard and in recovery, because most support systems will support groups will not say that you can drink at all. I can't think of any that say you can or use substances right. So you got to figure out what your number is and stick it to it, not because of any other outside pressures but yourself. I also like to think about sobriety being at least a year old before a recovery, also before you can actually set those limits and boundaries with other people. So from my perspective, I think that there's a lot of stuff that you can do and also bring a friend I mean, you know it could be a sober friend or a friend that's willing to be supportive of you. Have a signal.
Speaker 2:I think that what I've also mentioned to people is that they're bothered to be about a drink, and if you go to YouTube, I'm touching my nose and if you have a friend who understands what that means, maybe they come over and they change a subject or they work on something or what have you. But having allies is so important. That's why, to me, recovery works much better than sobriety. While sobriety can work, I'm a big fan of recovery and having that and obviously process it. If you have a therapist, process it there, process it in support groups, but make sure you use all your resources in order to set those limits and boundaries, not because everyone expects it, but rather you expect it from yourself, and if you're not doing it for yourself, you're highly likely not going to remain sober or in recovery. So that's my ideas for today. Let me know what you think, send me a note and all that. And episode 181 will be with Daniel Gospardek. If I pronounce it wrong, he's going to tell me on the podcast, but he's the next guest on episode 181.
Speaker 1:And I hope you join me, then Please like, subscribe and follow this podcast on your favorite platform. A glowing review is always helpful and, as a reminder, this podcast is for informational, educational and entertainment purposes only. If you're struggling with a mental health or substance abuse issue, please reach out to a professional counselor for consultation. If you are in a mental health crisis, call 988 for assistance. This number is available in the United States and Canada.
