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Finding Your Way
Join Steve Bisson, LMHC as he unravels the complexities of therapy and counseling. Engage in straightforward dialogues, enriched with insights from special guests sharing a like-minded perspective. Each episode presents valuable, easy-to-digest information designed to help you perceive therapy, and those who partake in it, in a grounding, relatable manner.
This podcast is slowly transforming to discuss first responders, trauma, grief, and coaching.
Finding Your Way
E.188 Trauma Cleanup and Healing: Krista Gregg's Journey of Mental Health Advocacy and Community Support
What happens when tragedy strikes, and who is there to pick up the pieces when the unimaginable occurs? Meet Krista Gregg, a seasoned professional in crime and trauma scene cleaning, as she unpacks her journey from the healthcare and automotive sectors to meeting the intense emotional demands of cleaning traumatic scenes. With a mission-driven heart and a story that inspires, Krista shares how she and her husband co-founded their business to make a tangible difference in their community. Alongside her passion for storytelling, Krista dives into her advocacy for trauma-informed mental health practices and her creation of the Bright Sky House, a beacon of hope aimed at challenging stigmas and inspiring those who hear its stories.
Cleaning biohazardous environments is not for the faint of heart, but Krista speaks with empathy and insight about the emotional resilience required. She emphasizes creating safe spaces for those grieving, while her work meticulously ensures safety and dignity are restored. By carefully preserving valuable items, especially in hoarding scenarios, Krista and her team work collaboratively with individuals to prioritize safety and healing. This compassionate approach addresses the profound effects of tragedy on families, highlighting the critical balance between professional duty and personal connection.
The episode further explores the importance of setting boundaries and effective communication strategies, both professionally and personally. Krista shares personal anecdotes, emphasizing the transformative power of boundaries in maintaining a healthy work-life balance. By fostering vulnerability and mental health awareness, she offers a compelling narrative on the significance of community support and the societal changes needed to address stigmas around male vulnerability and mental health. Join us for a thought-provoking episode that promises to leave you with a deeper understanding of the complex intersections of trauma, mental health, and recovery.
Here are all the links to reach Krista
BrightSkyHouse.com
@BrightSkyHouse on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and TikTok
@BrightSkyHouseOfficial on YouTube
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Hi and welcome to Finding your Way Through Therapy. A proud member of the PsychCraft Network, the goal of this podcast is to demystify therapy, what can happen in therapy and the wide array of conversations you can have in and about therapy Through personal experiences. Guests will talk about therapy, their experiences with it and how psychology and therapy are present in many places in their lives, with lots of authenticity and a touch of humor. Here is your host, steve Bisson.
Speaker 2:Hello and welcome to the new studio. We're in the new studio, hi and welcome to Finding your Way. Yeah, I mean, I'm working out on some of the kinks that I have in the studio, so hopefully we don't have too many problems. But this is the start of it, so I hope you enjoy it. If you're on YouTube, go check it out. If you're on my podcast just listening to it audio, let me know how it sounds, but wanted to make sure you knew about that.
Speaker 2:So last episode we talked about peer support and I hope you go back and listen to it. That was episode 187. And 188 will be about a lot of crime scene stuff with Krista Gregg. Krista Gregg brings five years of experience in crime and trauma scene cleaning, offering a unique perspective and the profound effects of tragedy on individuals and families. Witnessing these numerous tragedies have led her to become a resource advocate for trauma-informed and things that are needed for the mental health, including hoarding. She brought her experience to something that she calls Bright Sky House, which will be in the show notes, to uncover hidden stories. That inspires hope, challenges stigmas and fosters meaningful connections. So I hope you enjoy the interview. And here's the interview GetFreeai yes, you've heard me talk about it previously in other episodes, but I'm going to talk about it again because GetFreeai is just a great service.
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Speaker 2:Well, hi, welcome to Finding your Way. And episode 188 is going to be with Krista Gregg. I missed Krista through social media and I really liked again. We're working on first responder stuff. We're working on trauma and her message. I know she's going to talk about the podcast that she's going to do. I'm just telling her in advance. I'm going to be asking her about it. But to me it's so fascinating to talk about that stuff because I've worked with forensic people who had to look at those scenes, but I've never had anyone tell me about how it is to clean them. So, looking forward to having that conversation, and I hear she's a fan of therapy, so it's even better. So, krista, welcome to Finding your Way.
Speaker 3:Thank you so much for having me. It's such a pleasure to be here. I'm so grateful to be able to just share anything that I can over especially the last five years of working in crime and trauma synclinics.
Speaker 2:I can't wait to hear some more.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I'm sorry, I'm interrupting because there's a delay.
Speaker 2:No, I know this is. I should have mentioned everyone to. I'm recording this in the new studio and there is some going to be some stuff that I'm going to have to fix, so hopefully people are understanding.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, absolutely. Well, steve, let's begin. Where should we start?
Speaker 2:Well, how about you tell me, who Krista Gregg is?
Speaker 3:Oh, that's a deep one. My therapist and I are still figuring that one out. Who is Krista Gregg? Krista Gregg is someone who loves digital media, who loves storytelling, but I'm also a mom of a beautiful nine-year-old. I'm a wife to my husband, matt, and we started a crime and trauma scene cleaning business back in 2019.
Speaker 3:And just on the premise of wanting to help people, we both had previous jobs in healthcare and automotive, which no one gets excited about. Going to a dealership or going to any healthcare facility it's not a welcoming environment sometimes for folks and we wanted to do more. We wanted to shift the tides on how we were helping the community and just dove right. In November 2019, we opened up our first location to do this work in Asheville, north Carolina, and the next year we opened up here in Colorado, and we've been doing this work ever since, helping from doing suicide remediation, unattended deaths, to hoarding situations, meth and fentanyl remediations, tear gas cleanups. If it's overwhelming and you don't know what to do, that's usually when someone calls, and we love it. We're able to help people and give back in these great times of need, and it's something that I've never experienced in my life. So it really opened up this new world, in this new bubble of what people are going through, and so I just love the idea of helping people and supporting however I can.
Speaker 2:Well, I can see that and the first question that comes to mind is oh, we're in Asheville, north Carolina, let's open our second one five states over in Colorado. Why?
Speaker 3:I know we are cross country, so we were living in Asheville at the time. My husband's from there and I'm actually from Colorado, so we had the team set up. Everybody you know, when you buy a business and we're getting a little bit into entrepreneurship there's owner and operators and at first you're an operator. You're the person that's doing everything from the ground up. You're going to the job sites every day, you're what we call in the suit, and we had built the team up out there to become owners and we had trained people. We had created a customer service base and referral partners where the business could really stand more on its own without us seeing the day-to-day.
Speaker 3:And I really wanted to come back home. Colorado has always been home for me. It was where. Actually, long story short, my husband and I originally met in Colorado, got married out here and then moved to North Carolina and we wanted to come back. We have friends out here. It's just it's that place that you always feel most comfortable. So then we knew we were moving and we still wanted to continue what we were doing. So let's bring it out to Colorado and build a team out here, and we're part of a franchise system. So we have two franchise locations, but the company is called Bio One and there's 140 of us throughout the United States, so we bought a second location within the franchise we travel a lot.
Speaker 2:I was going to say there's a lot of travel and, yeah, it's overwhelming to clean up a hoarding house, for example, or a crime scene of some sort or suicide, I mean. There's so many questions I have about that. The first question that comes to mind is how do you stay sane? Because that's really rough stuff. I've been in a hoarder's house several times and people watch the TV show on A&E and I tell them that's nothing, you don't know what it is when you're there, and there's something about the smell and everything else that goes with that. So how is it for you? How do you survive that?
Speaker 3:So the reason why it's important to hire somebody like our team or other teams that exist out there in the community is first, I'll start with kind of what I call the biohazard side, so the suicides, unattended deaths, more of the blood stuff that we clean up. We are coming in into a moment when everybody's still in shock. There's immense grief, law enforcement has just finished their investigation and determined you know cause of death and there's nothing else that they can do. So it's our job to come in and create a safe environment and create a safe space. And also there's an element of making it so family members don't have to see exactly what happened. There's we're preventing further trauma from them cleaning it up themselves or having to visually see exactly what happened.
Speaker 3:And for me, how do I get through that? I'm not going to lie Like there. There are some scenes that are forever imprinted in my mind. There are some situations and scenarios that are absolutely heartbreaking, especially when it comes to kids or if animals are involved. Or you know it just, and I'm never going to say I've seen it all, because there's always something around the corner that surprises us. But there is. We don't have the emotional attachment in a lot of cases that you know the direct family members, next of kin and loved ones have. So we can come in, and the mentality that I constantly keep going, especially as we get through these scenes, is, if not us, then who? And not so long ago, before businesses like ours existed, it was family members, it was friends, it was, you know, maybe a police officer offering to help out, and it wasn't done correctly, it wasn't done safely and it was with the best of intentions of the community. But now we can come in and help and I think that really guides me of, if not us, then who's going to do it and who's going to do it well and who's going to do it safely and who's going to abide by regulations and who's going to make sure that these people are taken care of to the best of our ability. And that's us, and that gives me a lot of peace and hope.
Speaker 3:When it comes to hoarding situations, I'm not going to lie, I get overwhelmed in hoarding situations, but we do a lot of prep work before we go into a house and so if you're talking extreme levels, like what you mentioned on A&E and hoarders, that's kind of a level five. That's worst of the worst, and of course they want that on TV that gets them ratings. But we do things very differently than what is seen in pop culture. We will come up with a plan, directly with the hoarder themselves, of what do they want to keep, what do they want to donate, what do they want to dispose of If they're not ready yet, what can we do?
Speaker 3:First, to make the environment safe not perfect, because safety is really the biggest goal. We need them to have access to exits. We need to make sure that if something catches on fire, that there isn't so much fuel in the house that it just goes up in flames quickly and no one can get saved. We need to make sure that we identify fall risks or electrical plumbing problems, mold. There's just so much that is happening, sometimes in a hoarded home, where sometimes the first goal is to make it safe, and then we can go from there and clean up even more and more, and it could be a layered process.
Speaker 2:But before we even step inside someone's house.
Speaker 3:Yeah, please.
Speaker 2:So I heard you and I'm going to say one thing. This is something that comes up with what people have said to me working in jails, working in the community yeah, you're making it safe for other people, but how is it safe for you? So I'm going to throw that question at you.
Speaker 3:Absolutely no, we have. So we're wearing complete PPE, we're fully covered and we're also wearing needle protection gloves. We're wearing respirators. I mean we are covered head to toe and we're making sure that we're methodically going through things little by little, stepping into the space. We ask a lot of pointed questions at first. When I say are there needles in the home, I'm not saying, hey, are you a drug addict? I'm saying do you have diabetes? Do you need to inject yourself with medicine? I need to understand what hazards we could possibly run into. But we always assume there is a hazard, just for our safety and our team's safety.
Speaker 3:So when we come in, it is a very slow approach and methodical approach of getting through all of these items and it's not like we're. A lot of times people picture like giant snow shovels and us just putting it in a dumpster. It's quite the opposite. We're actually looking for things that could be of valuable, whether it's money, coin or it's photos. It could be important paperwork, it could be bills. It could be a valuable. Whether it's money, coin or it's photos, it could be important paperwork. It could be bills, it could be mail. It's not for us to decide all the time to what's valuable to somebody, so we really try to get to understand them and what's important to them as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think that that's the excellent point, because what's valuable to you may not be valuable to the next person, and what's valuable to another person could be junk to you. So I think that's a good point. And you talk a little bit about the hoarders and the suicides. You touched a little bit on it, but that must be also very difficult, and there's a whole different ballgame if you're dead by hanging and been there for two hours, versus gunshot wound and been there for two days. So I'm sure that there is some differences between those things too.
Speaker 3:A hundred percent. And it's one of those things where you know, obviously, as the longer that a body has been laying around, there's a decomposition phase where, if we can't respond quickly and if you know, if someone's unattended for several days, months, I mean the list goes on. In terms of the climate, whether it's hot or cold, what room it's in, if it's a multi-level house versus what kind of flooring you have, the spread and the contamination can really vary and it can be as quick as wiping down a space to we have to deconstruct an entire space. But for us, again, there's a lot of different procedures. Again same PPE type of scenario, but we're really slowly going into a space with taking one thing at a time.
Speaker 3:We're testing a lot for bloodborne pathogens and we are trying to stay very transparent. Whether it's hoarding or whether it's the biohazard work, we're always trying to stay transparent with the family and with the people that we're working with Now, with the, with the biohazard side, whether it's a suicide and unintended death, a, you know, some sort of a crime scene, we're trying to be very mindful to have how much we share, what is important to share and what is also traumatic to share. You know I'm not going to say, hey, we found a skull fragment and we're throwing that away. But I may say, hey, we found a note that no one else had. Do you want us to save it or would you like? How would you like us to handle that? So those are two different examples of ways that we can be transparent and make sure that people are in control, but we also take care of them and do the job we need to do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think that that's the stuff that I can imagine also brings you to therapy, and you talked about loving your therapist and working on who Krista Gregg is, but I'd like to hear more about. The question is usually have you ever been in therapy? Clearly, we've answered that question. So how is therapy for you? How is your experience with therapy?
Speaker 3:Oh gosh, I've been. I've been doing therapy I think I'm coming up on four or five years now but I was diagnosed in 2011 with depression and I think I had experienced it for a very long time, even when I was in high school, and certainly I can recall very deep, dark moments in college, and it was one of those things for me personally where I couldn't come up with a positive thought. Like it was, I would be so dark and down that I couldn't generate any positivity. I would be willing myself, wanting myself to come up with something positive, and I just couldn't, and I was not happy with my job. I was struggling in relationships and I got diagnosed.
Speaker 3:But five years ago I decided especially with the line of work that we're getting into and we had our daughter my husband and I had our daughter and my husband and I are working together I needed some new strategies with coping with the work that I'm seeing, how to absorb it and how to not have attachments to it and how to process exactly what I'm seeing and how I'm helping people. These are folks that they do have mental health problems themselves. They're going through something themselves their own traumatic moments so how can I better communicate with them. But then also, how can I better communicate with my husband, who's not only my business partner but you know, I'm married. I want to have that relationship still. How can we be there for our daughter?
Speaker 3:There was so much going on and it was just a mess of emotions that I needed someone to help center me. And I didn't know what the term boundary was before. I didn't know I could do boundaries. I could tell people no, I could say hey, we're not doing this today, or this is a line in the sand for me. That seems so natural today, but when I started I had none. I had no boundaries. Even that in and of itself is its weight in gold.
Speaker 2:How did that work out for you? No boundaries.
Speaker 3:Oh, my boundaries are great. My nine-year-old is even saying Mom, that's a boundary for me. She's using it against me now. She's like, no, mom, that's a boundary, no, they crossed my boundaries. She's using it with friends there. She's like, no, mom, that's a boundary, no, they cross my boundaries. And she's using it with friends and like there's such a moment of pride. And then it's like I don't think that means what you think it means. Or let's reassess what that boundary is and why it's there. But I love it and she and I have these deep conversations where I can have also much more patience. Or if there is something happening at the business with a customer, or even internally in our household, if there's a disagreement, I have a better time thinking about it as its singular problem, not about a personal attack on me. I do a better job of associating.
Speaker 3:What's the problem? What can I control, what can I not control, and how can I address this in a manner that is appropriate and that's really hard at first to even think about it that way.
Speaker 2:You know what's interesting is in my office upstairs this is a studio I have a sign that says what can you control? It's my reaction, my emotions, my thoughts and everything else you can't control. So reminding yourself of what you can control is something I typically do in therapy. I also get from my clients oh yeah, you and your fucking son. But that's a whole different story for a different day.
Speaker 3:I know it's, it's so hard I mean it's hard to you know when we were talking about working with hoarders. There's a lot where they will get feedback and comments. Maybe it's three months later, six months later. Where did you put this? I think you threw this away. Why did you do this? And you know, I expect that now. So what can we control?
Speaker 3:As a business, we can be really thorough with our documentation. We can take a lot of pictures of every part of the house. If we're throwing something away, we can take a picture of it. So we know why. We can document our processes. So then, six months down the road, we can effectively communicate. You know what happened to them. We can also have them walk through the house and sign a satisfaction survey. Those are things we can control.
Speaker 3:But in six months, if they're still wondering why they're missing something I can't always. I can't control that. If they decide to fill their house up with items again, I can't control that. But we can be there for them, we can support them, we can offer them therapists and other resources. But when they're angry and calling me, it's not about me, it's not about our team. Usually, if they do mess up, we'll own it. I say usually we're not perfect, but we do better on our end and then we can help, support and that's all we can do. And I take that kind of philosophy with almost everything now in my life. But I learned that in therapy. I learned how to sort through that in therapy.
Speaker 2:Well, I think it's also learning to not personalize is one of those four agreements. And if you ever read the four agreements, do not personalize is one of my favorites to remind people because you know, like right now being you know in those situations people are angry, but they don't know what to do with their anger. So you're the quotes, you're, you're the victim, so to speak. I gotta go after you, but it has nothing to do with you. I've been call every name in therapy, uh, justifiably or not, but most of the time not because it has nothing to do with me, but rather their own stuff. So I think that it's important to realize that, and I'm sure that when you're cleaning crime scenes or you think about trauma that people are perhaps going through, it's really helpful to depersonalize, so to speak, not in a bad way, not a pathological way, but to save your own ass, so to speak.
Speaker 3:Exactly, and that's also I mean when I see people struggling, especially within the profession.
Speaker 3:That really led me to this year promoting and creating a business called bright sky house, which is something that's been on my mind for a while.
Speaker 3:But I wanted a place where people can create communities and share their stories and then I can also help connect, and what I mean by that is there's a lot of people that are going through trauma, grief in moments after we've just come in to help them, but they have nowhere to go and they don't know even the first person to talk to or where to look or what's a safe resource for them. And so you know, with that in mind, of what I can control, what I can't control, man, I know a lot of people after five years who are still struggling. I haven't been through these things myself personally, but I know how to create a community, I know how to help people tell stories and I know that I could easily connect people together to build support systems. And so that's one of the drivers and, I guess, the passion that I have behind everything that I'm doing right now, which started with hey, let's have a crime and drama scene cleaning company, and, as I keep learning more. Hopefully I can continue to help support these vulnerable people.
Speaker 2:And what's the website? I'm going to put it in the show notes, but what's the website for people who are just listening?
Speaker 3:Yeah, thank you, it's brightskyhousecom.
Speaker 2:I'll definitely put it in the show notes. But that's a very important thing to connect, because one of the things that happens in the mental health world and I see that in the first responder world too is it's hard to find resources and recommendable resources. I can give you a therapist, but I'd rather like if Krista is someone. I know, I want to give her a good therapist.
Speaker 3:Yes, and someone that specializes in what you're going through, someone that isn't just trying to wing it and you may be the first person that they're talking to that is experiencing what you're experiencing. But yeah, absolutely, it's so important to feel seen and heard and understood and, as much as we want to lean on the people around us, sometimes the people around us just don't have the tools to really show up and be present in a way that you need them to. So finding communities and finding therapists and support groups of people who understand, I feel like that's more important than ever.
Speaker 2:Right, and also people who are your friends and family around you. They want to remain your family and friend and they don't want to be your therapist. And something that I explained to my friends and I mentioned this on the podcast before. But my girlfriend, when we met through a app, it said I'm a therapist, I'm not your therapist, and she she always reminds people that that's what she found funny in my message. But, truthfully, like, I love my friends but I don't want to be the therapist and it's not because I don't love them.
Speaker 3:It's because they should have a good resource to go talk to. Oh, absolutely, I find that with, like lawyers too. Yeah, there's a lot of people in certain professions where I feel like like, hey, you're my friend, but you're a lawyer, what do you think about this? Or hey, you're a doctor. Can you take a look at this? For me, by the way, you're my best friend. Like at some point, you also as a human. That doesn't just define who you are, you find who you are.
Speaker 2:You are also an individual as well. Well, it's also what you know. First responders get you know. Police officers are like hey, you know what? I got a ticket at this place. The police officer does not give a shit about your ticket, he just wants to be at a party, and so I think that that's what happens, you know, with a whole lot of our professions.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. There's a time and a place to storytell, I'm sure, but you know you just want to show up and be you. You also, I wonder, as a first responder and in law enforcement. It is probably critical to separate that and to have your own space in your own life where it's not all consuming, where you're constantly responding from one emergency event to another.
Speaker 2:Well, you talk about the trauma and everything else. One of the things that I discuss with most people is when you are a first responder, that becomes your identity and I tell people that's not your identity, that's your job and you got to separate and a lot of the work that I do with first responders. I'm not a first responder myself, but the first responders I work with they definitely go like oh well, what happens to my identity? I mean, you got to find one there, sherlock, and that's sometimes very hard for them.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I can only imagine and what they say. I mean we respond to things, but they're nonstop. I like I'm sure adrenaline rushes nonstop for them in responding.
Speaker 2:Well, I think it's also important to maybe talk about you know we talk about the first responders, we talk about these scenes maybe talk about. You know we talk about the first responders, we talk about these scenes. I'd love to hear more about your views of trauma Because I think that you know, trauma is something that, to me, we can define it all we want, but sometimes it is a personal definition and I know that sounds weird coming from a therapist, but what I mean by that is if I see a dead cat on the side of the road, that'd be traumatic to me but not traumatic for most people, and that's not for you to judge if it's traumatic or not. So I'd love to hear more of your views on trauma.
Speaker 3:You know, I've never actually even thought about defining it before. I'm sitting here and I'm thinking, okay, what is trauma? How are we defining it? And I feel like off the cuff here. I'm just thinking if there is a something that is emotionally impacting you from whatever this event is in a negative way, or something that's sticking with you or hitting you in in a sense of giving you grief, in a sense of giving you sadness, some of those really powerful emotions that come up. And what's what's really sticking out in my mind, that I'm kind of replaying in my head, is my daughter.
Speaker 3:She, you know I see trauma every day with the crime and trauma scene, cleaning stuff that we're doing, and you know I'm surrounded by a lot of times these situations of death or seeing someone horrid because of a traumatic event that happened in their life, and they need to have this feeling of control somehow. But my daughter last year she had a really nasty injury where she accidentally got her finger slammed in our shower door, which is a glass shower door, and it's very heavy and she had to get stitches. We had to go to the emergency room like and even to this day she's like Mom. That is trauma for me that is a traumatic event and I would love to talk to somebody about my trauma. And I'm thinking you know what? She's nine years old. That is probably the most traumatic thing that's ever happened to her and it does stick with her.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, that is her trauma. Will it fade in time, like all things? Maybe probably, but right now that's a big deal for her and so that's kind of that was. It's changing my mind a little bit as we go. A traumatic event, I think, is something that just sticks with you and shapes you as a person. Whether that's a positive shaping or a negative, you know, is to be determined on how you respond and adapt and what happened, I suppose.
Speaker 2:I agree with you, and I think that it's one of those things that you go to a crime scene. I've only been to a few of them and I can tell you I was never traumatized. There were scenes that were a little more disturbing. Sure, do I really think about it? Did it bother me? Not really, but if it bothered someone else, and that's their God-given right. I think that what I mean about being trauma, being personalized, is that if it's traumatic for you to have a guy who's bald with a goatee, I can't judge that. That's up to you if you find that traumatic. If I'm traumatized by blondes, again, that's not for you to decide or not.
Speaker 3:That's my trauma and I think about I'll just stop dyeing my hair, it's fine.
Speaker 2:Oh, you're a natural, I'm sure, but no, but I think it's important that we joke around. But I think that that's one of the things that I feel is the biggest misnomer is that, again, I've been to a few scenes and I go and people are like really it doesn't bother you, I can't tell you it did. Maybe if I did 400 of those scenes, maybe it would be a different story. But I think that what I would say to you and maybe we can keep on talking about it is that going to those scenes can be traumatic for some people I'm sure people are listening to the podcast, going holy crap, I would never do that. Going holy crap, I would never do that. And for other people it's like you know, and I'd rather be at a suicide and a homicide than ever be on a hoarder and cleaning up that hoarding. But that's me, and that doesn't mean anything else, but that's me.
Speaker 3:I, oh man, I love both for so many different reasons for each of them. But for me, the trauma that sticks with me is the stories of how they got there, it's what happened, it's talking with family members. I've learned that I can't ask too many questions. I don't want to know too much, because then I start really connecting in a way that is unhealthy for me, where I start absorbing everyone else's feelings and emotions in a way where it's not healthy for me. I can't change what happened and I have to find again that boundary. But in terms of, I mean, even when we went on our very first job, it was a suicide in a mobile home in the Appalachian mountains and my husband had gone through all the training, I was still working my full time job, so I just left my desk and headed on up to a suicide. I'd never seen it before, I never experienced something like this before. I didn't know how I was going to react and respond and I just saw the blood and I saw where everything happened and I was like, all right, let's clean it up. It just it didn't bother me, it didn't affect me at all. But it's the stories about it and how we got there.
Speaker 3:I just I have a soft spot there With hoarding. I love this idea of finding things and sorting through things. I could spend all day in a house and organizing and this goes here and this goes there and let's open this book and let's see what's in here. And I love the discovery process. I love looking at the before and afters and seeing what I've accomplished. I would say the only thing that I do not like and still to this day cannot stand on a job is poop. It's not even like, it's just it's. It's urine and fecal matter from humans, and whether it's in adult diapers, whether it's been built up because of plumbing situations and I won't go any further for the listeners that have squirmy stomachs, but that's still. That's the one thing of it that that I can't handle. But the rest of it, I'm fascinated by the process of how we got here and also the discovery and hoarding situations. We've discovered so much. It's kind of fun.
Speaker 2:I really want to hit on a couple of things. First of all, for me it's vomit. I can do poop, I can do pee, but vomit, no, that's me. Number two I think that what you said is so important because, again, think of my audience and think people are going to be listening to this. You know, you go to your first crime scene and it doesn't bother you. And why should it? Because that's what people say oh my God, that would have affected me. That's awesome. But your name is Johnny, it's Jane, it's not, you know, it's not Krista, it's not Steve, it's not Julie or whatever. The point being is.
Speaker 2:I think that it's so personal. That's why I go back to trauma Me being traumatized by xyz. That's not for you to decide if I'm right or wrong. It's, you know. Why do vomit? Why does vomit bother me? I'd like to tell you, I know I don't know, but it bothers me. You know, show me a pile of poop, I'll look at it, go. Yeah, it's poop and that's it. That's especially if it's dry. It definitely doesn't even touch my radar. Um, so I think that it's reminding you know that personal stories and what you know, you jump in and what you like and this and that. So I really was.
Speaker 3:Everyone's looking for a cause or a reason, or to point fingers when something traumatic happens or trying to determine how did this person get this way? And what we really landed on, which I think is so important, is we see different versions of people. I see my husband, as you know what Matt Gregg shows me as as himself, as my husband, as as my partner in doing business. But he has another element to him, where his mom sees him, and there's other angles that and other purviews that he gives people in the world or our customers. And we started down this path of do you ever truly know somebody, or is that really all inside them and they're the only ones that can truly say that they know themselves? Or maybe they don't. Like In this world where we're constantly wanting to point fingers or say this is the truth or this is what happened, I almost wonder if it just lies with the individual and no one can really say for sure.
Speaker 2:Well, there's a few things I want to say. I'm going to just say my first thing and then I want to ask you a question. For me, what I go back to is that when you know, when you think about knowing other people, I don't know about you, but I'm still learning about myself, so how the hell am I going to know about other people? I remember a professor in my undergrad said that if you die and you know yourself completely, you're a better person than I am, and I always wanted to give that to people as advice. And I'd love to hear more about your podcast, because you mentioned it in passing, but I'd love for people to go listen to it. What's the podcast about? You kind of mentioned it, but I want to hear more specifics about it.
Speaker 3:Yes, so we're in recording. It is not live yet, but when it is live I will let you know. So I have about six women lined up who are going to be sharing their stories where their husbands have died of suicide, and the reason why it was so important for me to really focus on this niche group of women is, you know, in 2023, the CDC reported that 80% of all suicide deaths were done by males in America, and I think there's two things that can be accomplished with sharing these stories of the widows that are left behind. One is how to create more of a community for them to feel like they're not alone, to reach out to others who are going through what they're going through.
Speaker 3:It is such an what I'm gathering is it's a very isolated situation where they are lost and no one understands, and sometimes they are blamed or they are surprised by things that they didn't realize were going on in their husband's lives, and they may have kids or they may be a stay at home mom and they have to pick up all these pieces by themselves. They have to figure out what opening an estate means, and all of this is resting on their shoulders as they're grieving for the person that was closest to them in the world and that felt very isolating when I talked to people. So creating this community here was really important, and so I'm about six people in and talking with them and sharing with them. I would love to take it even further, but the other side of the coin is I really think 80% is a staggering number and I want to send a message and I want to have advocacy around men becoming vulnerable and getting mental health that they deserve, that is needed, that they have.
Speaker 3:It is very unfair, in my mind and this is me personally to expect a wife and loved ones to always know what's happening up here and here, and I think that there are times when men do need to reach out and they're not, and resources are available, but our society and stigmas and how people were raised or brought up to think it prevents men from getting help, and so one of the things that we want to do as well is how do we advocate for that? How do we create more of a opening, open community for people seeking help and letting them know they're not alone and it's okay?
Speaker 2:I mean, I have a lot of ideas on that, so I want to hear it.
Speaker 3:I am all ears. I am all ears.
Speaker 2:But this is, this is the thing that I I you know as a feminist myself, and I know people like oh, you're not a woman, you can't be a feminist. Well, I am a feminist, I have two daughters and much more of a feminist than ever before. But one of the things that, if I cry, even people I respect sometimes say what's wrong with you. And it's not because they're mean and I'm not pointing fingers at them, but there's a lack of ability to be vulnerable, because men, when they cry people, don't know how to react. So that's number one. Number two men have to be able to say I'm going to be vulnerable. And that's basically saying to a man go run naked in the street at 20 degree weather. I mean, that's the hard part is to convince men that it's okay to be vulnerable.
Speaker 2:I work with men a lot because of my job, especially with the first responders, but that vulnerability like it takes me six months to a year where a woman and again, sexist or not, call me whatever you want Women come in and like this is exactly what's going on. Here's my vulnerability, here's my. And women are just where men are, not necessarily that way, and I think we got to encourage that. And I'm going to add one final thing about this. You talked about suicide. Men commit suicide more often than women. That's not true. Actually, women try suicide more often than men, but men use more violent means and that is why they're 80-20.
Speaker 3:Okay, Well, the numbers that I was pulling, Okay, no, it's good. I would love to see that data because I was pulling it from the CDC from 2023. And it was. It didn't say exactly the means, but it did say out of all the suicides, it was about 80% were males. But I do agree with you in terms of you know how it's done and it is with men, it's usually by a firearm.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think that that's why like for suicide. If you ever have men, it's usually by a firearm, yeah, and I think that that's why like for suicide if you ever have. If I got to find my old data, I used to be a suicide prevention specialist, so I know a lot about this stuff. So if you ever want to have a private conversation, we can go there. But for you know, let's get them in the talk is really hard because you know even the nicest people in the world. I mean I know my friends are very supportive, but sometimes it's like what people in the world? I mean, I know my friends are very supportive, but sometimes it's like what's wrong with you and that's not because they're mean people. So I think we just got to change a little bit and that's going to take a while, but I'm forcing it and you have another podcast as far as I know and I defer to your expertise.
Speaker 3:Oh, sorry, say that again.
Speaker 2:No, no, that's fine, please continue.
Speaker 3:Oh, I was going to say so I am dipping my toe in here as just someone that has cleaned up scenes. I am still learning all of this, so I absolutely would love to meet, especially because you have the specialties and experience and certainly with suicide prevention and helping people. So I just absolutely defer to you too and your expertise and your guidance, and you have so much more experience in that area.
Speaker 2:Right, and you know, the people who survive suicides will tell you that once they tried to commit suicide of any kind and they the first, as soon as they pulled the trigger, or they try to hang themselves, or to take a handful of pills or what have you, the first thing that comes to mind, which is really strange, it's like oh shit, what am I doing? So we only know we already. We obviously only know the ones who survived. Obviously there's no ones who are dead we can't really interview. But that's something to come up. And I want to complete this by asking there's another podcast that you're saying, that you're working on too.
Speaker 3:Yes, it's called Light a Match. It's a little tongue-in-cheek, mainly because anytime that we go to work with a family or a hoarder themselves, or a family who's dealing with the hoarding situation, the most frequent question is should we just light it on fire? Is it really worth all of this effort of sorting through things and disposing of things? And so I titled it Light a Match, because, yep, you can light a match and burn it all down, but a match can also symbolize hope.
Speaker 3:You know, it's a light, it's it's, it's inspiration, and I want to really unveil some of these stigmas about hoarding and talk a little bit deeper as to why do people hoard and what are they hoarding hard conversation and hell or shame or judgment and also get that help that you need. And so, again, it's another storytelling platform where I would love people to come on on the show and talk about either their experience with hoarding if a loved one hoarded, if they inherited an estate or a house that has been hoarded in, or if they grew up in a hoarding situation, or if there's someone who is struggling today or has got the help that they needed and they're no longer hoarding. I just think there's so many angles and so many perspectives here that any story can really help shed the stigma and encourage people. It's okay, you can get some help and there are a lot of resources out there.
Speaker 2:So if people want to be on your show or people want to know more about you, how do they reach?
Speaker 3:you If people want to be on the show. Yes, I'm going to throw out an email address here for everybody. It is hello H-E-L-L-O at brightskyhousecom.
Speaker 2:All right. And I'll put that in the show notes you can reach out.
Speaker 3:You can follow us on social media, too, at Bright Sky House, and that's on all social channels. It's at Bright Sky House.
Speaker 2:Well, I want to thank you for this interview. It was amazing. I'd love to have you back on. I don't know what we talk about, but I think that I would love to have a non-delayed, non-nude studio stuff so we can talk a little more. But truly, it's a delight and you and your husband are doing amazing work and I really appreciate you.
Speaker 3:So thank you. Thank you so much. It is such an honor. I am so grateful to be here. Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. It is such an honor. I am so grateful to be here. Thank you Well, this concludes the episode. Krista Gregg, thank you so much. Appreciate it. Hope you guys enjoy. Go to our show notes for all her resources.
Speaker 1:But episode 189 will be about coaching and I hope you join me, then Please like, subscribe and follow this podcast on your favorite platform. A glowing review is always helpful and, as a reminder, this podcast is for informational, educational and entertainment purposes only. If you're struggling with a mental health or substance abuse issue, please reach out to a professional counselor for consultation. If you are in a mental health crisis, call 988 for assistance. This number is available in the United States and Canada.
